


enough with the penis jokes

by colourexplosion



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-03
Updated: 2012-04-03
Packaged: 2017-11-03 00:11:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/374901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourexplosion/pseuds/colourexplosion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which figure skaters are not figure skaters but instead high school students. and evan works at Hot Dog on a Stick</p>
            </blockquote>





	enough with the penis jokes

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by a prompt at skatingkink. originally posted august 8th, 2010.

Evan shifts uncomfortably in his new uniform, pulling at the hem of the stiff, scratchy, and outrageously colored shirt. The pants are scratchy too and the hat doesn't really fit on his head, so he has to be careful how he moves it. 

All in all, it's pretty terrible. 

He wouldn't even have this job if it weren't for his mom refusing to pay for a new car, he thinks as he dips a hot dog into some batter.

"The one you have runs just fine," she'd shrugged at him. Evan had sighed loudly.

"Get a job, pay for it yourself."

So, he'd driven his old Buick to the mall that very day, absolutely determined to find a job, and of course, of _course_ the only place hiring was Hot Dog on a Stick. But Evan had swallowed his pride and begged Mr. Carroll to give him a chance. And for some reason, the old man had.

And that's why Evan is currently dipping ridiculously phallic objects into hot batter and then rolling them in things like fries. He can't believe people actually _eat_ this stuff. 

"Evan!" Mr. Carroll barks and Evan nearly goes headfirst into the batter.

"Yes sir?" he replies weakly, holding a stick still. The hot dog has fallen into the vat. 

"Go do samples! Get us customers! Come on! Chop chop!" Mr. Carroll claps his hands at him and Evan drops the stick and goes to get the samples.

\--

"Can I interest you in-"

"No thanks."

"Would you like to try-"

"No."

"Ma'am can I interest you in-"

"If you bring that plate anywhere near me, I'll slap you."

Okay. So maybe people _don't_ eat hot dogs on sticks. Whatever. It's not like Evan cares. He just wants a better car.

\--

"Don't tell me you work at Hot Dog on a Stick."

Evan looks up from his lunch and right into a pair of bright pink sunglasses that are staring down at him. It's Johnny Weir. Of _course_ it's Johnny Weir, because Evan needs to see the person who hates him most on one of the worst days of his life.

"So?" Evan replies lamely. He's too tired to fight, and that's all Johnny Weir ever wants to do. "It's a job and I need it." He shrugs, looking away from Johnny.

"Why don't you look for one a little less phallic, then?" Johnny snorts, sitting down across from him. Evan doesn't understand it, they've never had a full conversation in their lives. Ever. He just wants Johnny to go away. "I mean, basically the whole school thinks you're totally in the closet-"

"Why do they think that?"

"What am I, your spy? Probably because you wear Ralph Lauren all the time and use a single bottle of hair gel in a day. I don't know. But seriously, if you wanted to avoid the 'Evan loves weiner' jokes, this was not the way to do it." 

Evan stares at Johnny, who's rifling through his bag, looking for something. He pulls out a mirror, pushes his sunglasses up into his hair and checks his face before snapping the mirror closed and peering at Evan for a moment. Evan just stares, raising an eyebrow.

"What?" Johnny shrugs in reply and stands, pulling his glasses down again. 

"Nothing," he says loftily, "Enjoy eating that cock- whoops! Sorry. I mean corn dog." 

Evan watches him walk away, frowning. Now how was he supposed to eat his food without thinking about cock? Or about Johnny? Or about Johnny's-

Oh God.

\--

"Hey hot dog boy, how's the peddling of phallic symbols going? Any old ladies ask you how long your dog is yet?"

Evan closes his locker to see Johnny's face. He's leaning against the other lockers, arms crossed and grinning at him. 

"I bet it's a big," Johnny continues, a stupid grin on his face. "Am I right?"

_Don't respond,_ Evan thinks frantically, flustered. He can feel himself starting to blush. _He wants you to respond. Just walk away. Just let it go._ He just stares at Johnny for a moment before turning and walking away. Johnny follows, dodging people's over-sized bags so he doesn't get throw into the wall. Johnny's small, it happens a lot. 

"Come _on_ Lysacek, just tell me. It's okay. I can keep a secret! Just give me an approximation! Seven inches? Eight?" Evan turns so suddenly that Johnny nearly rams into his chest. Evan towers over him, an eyebrow cocked.

"Why do you care? What interest do you have in anything to do with my life ever?" 

Johnny just grins at him and shrugs. Evan hates him. He's playing games for no reason and Evan hates _games._ Probably because he's terrible at them. 

"Well, go bother someone else. I'm busy." And Evan promptly turns around and starts walking again, leaving Johnny in the hallway, peering after him interestedly.

\--

"So, tell me again why you need this job," Johnny asks Evan, leaning over the counter as Evan dips a hot dog into the batter. It's been about three weeks of this, so Evan's used to it now. They're actually kind of...friends. Well, they don't want to strangle each other, at least. And it's not like Evan really has any friends in school that he hangs out with, and from what he can tell, Johnny only hangs out with the weird Swiss exchange student. 

"I need a new car," he answers, his voice tired and sort of defeated sounding. He'd been up all night studying for a physics test that he's pretty sure he aced. It was worth it, but now he's dead-tired and he doesn't get off until nine. It's only seven-thirty. 

"Do you _need_ a new car or do you _want_ a new car?" Johnny prods, because he can and sometimes he really wants to know how much it will take to make Evan break. "I mean, it's not like anything you do will impress anyone. You're basically a loner." 

"It's better than hanging out with some incoherent Swiss guy all the time," Evan snaps back, pulling the hot dog out and rolling it. He turns to Johnny, holding it out. 

"Here, take this, on the house. Go eat it in GAP or something and leave me alone. You're scaring off customers." Johnny eyes the hot dog warily, taking it with the tips of two fingers and sniffing. 

"Don't tell _anyone,_ " Johnny tells him furiously before prancing off to go sit at some table. Evan sighs in relief and leans on the counter. 

"Lysacek!" Frank's yelling again. "Get back to work before I smack you!" 

\--

It's nine-thirty and the mall is completely closed and Evan has finally changed out of his stupid uniform and into his jeans and a plain white t-shirt and it's so nice outside and Evan is so happy to go home and sleep. 

Then he spots Johnny, sitting on one of the benches outside, sort of kicking his feet like a little kid does, and it's obvious someone has forgotten him. 

"Need a ride?" Evan calls, because his mother taught him right, okay, and even if Johnny is sort of annoying and stuff at least they're kind of friends. Besides, he's small and can't go one day in school without getting knocked on his ass, either by accident or on purpose and maybe Evan is kind of worried for his safety. Whatever.

Johnny looks up at him uncertainly and doesn't answer.

"Dude, you have like, five seconds to decide because I want to go home." Johnny finally nods and stands, following Evan to his car. 

"What's wrong with this one that you need a new one?" he asks quietly, slipping into the passenger side. 

"It's just not what I want, I guess," Evan replies, putting on his seat belt.

"What do you want?" Johnny asks him, and Evan thinks maybe he's not talking about the car. He doesn't really know what else Johnny could be talking about, though, so he shrugs. 

"An Infiniti, I think. Black." He shrugs again, and Johnny looks out the window as he pulls out of the parking lot. 

\--

The rest of the ride is silent, except for Johnny giving Evan instructions to his house, which isn't actually far from his own. He says this aloud, and Johnny snorts.

"We rode the same bus for like, four years," he says, rolling his eyes and Evan's brow furrows.

"Oh." 

And before he can reply, Johnny's leaning over into Evan's space to kiss his cheek. 

"Thanks for the ride," he murmurs, and Evan's glad it's dark because his face is burning and he knows his pulse is speeding up and his hands are clenched painfully around the wheel and _what the fuck Johnny just kissed him._

"No problem," he manages, turning to look at him. "Just don't make it a habit." 

Johnny half-laughs as he opens the door and slides away and goes inside. Evan collapses against his seat.

\--

He drives back to his house without an accident, thank the Lord, but his hands are still shaking a little when he walks into the house. Johnny kissed him. Evan's never been kissed. Well, that's not true, he's kissed a few girls at some parties before, but that was always him putting an arm around their neck and sort of meandering his way to their mouth. And Johnny didn't even kiss him on the mouth. On the cheek, he reminds himself. On the cheek. Whatever, it was probably just something Johnny picked up from the Swiss guy he always hung out with. Yeah. Nothing to freak out about. Nothing weird. 

The rest of his family has gone to bed, or at least to their rooms to read or something, and Evan nearly breaks his neck as he trips over one of his sister's shoes. 

"Ow fuck jesus _CHRIST_ ," he yells and he's sort of insulted when no one comes running to see if he's alright. He limps up the stairs to his room and kicks off his shoes, falling into the bed directly afterward. He falls asleep in less than a minute, snoring slightly into his pillow. 

\--

_"Are you gonna tell me now?" Johnny asks him, breathless, face flushed, a hand on Evan's neck, fingers tangled in the hair at the back of it, the other fisted in Evan's shirt, tugging him closer, closer. Evan's hands are in Johnny's hair, on his hips, sliding under his shirt. They both move toward one another, mouths meeting roughly with a tug of hair and a roll of hips and a gasp torn from someone's throat._

_"You gonna show me," Johnny whispers in Evan's ear, breath so, so hot and Evan feels like he's melting as Johnny's hand slips lower, just under his waistband-_

Evan rolls off the bed and falls to the floor with a loud _thump!_ landing in a tangle of sheets and bedspread and he's not sure how that happened since he fell asleep on top of them, but he doesn't really think about it because holy _shit._

He looks around his room, his chest still rising and falling quickly, his cheeks still flushed and that painful throb still in between his legs. There's early morning light coming through the window and it can't be later than six am. He's absolutely dazed and this is not good. Not good at all. 

\--

He tries to think about this girl he's had a crush on for awhile as he's "taking care of his problem" in his morning shower. Her name is Tanith and she's short and blonde (though he thinks vaguely that it's from a bottle but whatever) and she's the only one who talks to him in math or ever for that matter, but she's friends with this guy named Ben and everyone knows they're totally dating or going to date or something. That's not the issue.

The issue is that every time Evan tries to squeeze his eyes shut and think about Tanith's pretty mouth or what she'd look like in a bathing suit or something, all he can see is Johnny in his dream. He can only see Johnny, flushed and breathless and wanting and kissing and before he knows it, Evan's problem is gone but a bigger one still remains. 

Johnny.

\--

"Lysacek," Johnny says, leaning on the lockers beside him. It's their ritual now, except Evan doesn't really want it to be their ritual anymore, not when he's having dreams about shoving Johnny up against those lockers and kissing him until they both can't breathe. 

"Weir," he answers, because he can't outright ignore him. He's been avoiding Johnny for a few days, but the smaller boy is so _persistent_ and sort of aggressive and it's just weird. 

"Have you been avoiding me?" Johnny asks him, looking down at the floor and at his shoes and at a pencil someone dropped. "Because of the ki-"

"No," Evan interrupts quickly, because as much as he hates lying, they can't talk about this here. And it's not _really_ a lie. Evan hasn't been avoiding him because of the kiss. He's fine with the kiss. Whatever. It's what happened after the kiss that upsets him. 

"It's fine, Johnny. I mean, it's like what they do in Europe, right? France or something? A kiss on both cheeks?" He can feel his own cheeks starting to pink up as he rifles through his locker. He drops a book on the ground and they both bend to pick it up. Their eyes meet and Evan's sort of leaning closer without realizing it and Johnny sort of seems like he's breathing a little hard and Evan licks his own lips before-

"Johnny!" 

They both whip around to find the stupid Swiss guy standing there, smiling brightly. 

"Stephane!" Johnny answers, grinning widely, wider than Evan's ever seen him smile and a weird sort of feeling goes through his stomach. They kiss on both cheeks in greeting and Evan totally knew he was right. He picks up the book and shoves it back in the locker, closing it and trying to get away before-

"So who is this mysterious man you keep abandoning me for?" Stephane's smooth accent is followed by Johnny's nervous laugh and a hand on Evan's wrist. He winces a little, because Johnny's way stronger than he looks. Ow.

"This is Evan," Johnny says, "He works at Hot Dog on a Stick." Johnny raises his eyebrow as if this is Significant and Evan tears his wrist away. 

"Hi," he says, rather gruffly as the bell rings, and then he sighs. He turns to walk to his class, already very, very late and he doesn't even really know the point of going anymore. 

"Hey wiener boy," Johnny calls and Evan turns around and can't help but notice that Johnny is holding Stephane's hand. Johnny grins, sort of evilly, and Evan knows this isn't going to be good. 

"Come with us." 

It makes him stop in his tracks, pausing to consider. He checks his watch and then looks back at them, and they're both staring back expectantly. In the end, Evan just shrugs and walks towards them, defeated. They both grin at him.

\--

"Where are we going, again?" Evan asks as the other two boys who are still holding hands and walking close together and farther ahead than Evan. Evan has long legs, though, and if he wanted, he could totally be next to them in like, three seconds flat. 

"You'll see," Johnny replies in a sing-songy voice and Stephane laughs. 

They travel around to the other side of the school, into the gym and through the locker rooms to a door that Evan's never really paid attention to or even seen. He just tries to change out as quickly as he can, in gym. 

They walk through the door and find a pool, a full, Olympic-sized pool and Evan's eyes go wide. 

"Oh my god. I didn't know we had this." Johnny and Stephane laugh at him, putting their things down on the bleachers against the wall. 

"Stephane and I met in swim class," Johnny says, pulling off his sweater. Evan doesn't notice. He's too busy staring at the water. 

"Oui, when you kicked me in the face," Stephane says lightheartedly, and Johnny whips the sweater at him. Evan turns to look at them just as Johnny's pulling off his shirt and Stephane is already down to his boxers. 

"Uh," Evan stutters and Stephane smiles graciously. 

"We are going swimming." Johnny nods in agreement as he shimmies his pants down, leaving a pair of black briefs and Evan thinks he really does not need to be here right now. They both look at him expectantly, and he shrinks under their gaze. Stephane just shrugs and goes to dive in, and Johnny takes a step closer to Evan. 

"You okay?" he asks gently.

"I can't swim." The answer takes Johnny aback, and he blinks and then shrugs. 

"Sorry, I guess," he says sort of half-heartedly, like he doesn't believe Evan's telling the truth and walks away to the diving board. Evan stares after him.

Well, he doesn't mean to stare, but those briefs don't leave anything to the imagination and they definitely accentuate his ass in a way that is not all bad and Evan can feel his face turning red. Stephane sees him looking, but thinks nothing of it. He's from Europe, after all. Things like that aren't so weird. 

\--

Evan ends up sitting on the bleachers while the boys swim. He's doing the homework for the math class he's currently missing, so at least he can turn it in tomorrow and not get in trouble. He's so engrossed in it that he doesn't realize someone's standing over him until water drips on his paper. He looks up slowly, first seeing a pair of jeans and then a bellybutton and stomach and chest that isn't all that bad, Johnny must work out or something, and maybe Evan's gaze lingers a little too long on his collarbone before meeting Johnny's eyes. They stare at each other.

"You're on my clothes," Johnny says, and Evan's up in a flash, apologizing a billion times in a row. "It's fine. I just hope they don't smell like hot dogs now." 

Evan rolls his eyes. "Very funny." 

"Come," Stephane says, waving a hand. "We will be late for class." And they both follow him out, Johnny putting his shirt and sweater on as they walk. 

\--

_"Aren't you coming in?" Johnny calls to Evan from the pool, the water rippling around him, obscuring the view of what's underneath it. Evan can see the pair of black underwear lying by the poolside and he shakes his head at the boy in the water, walking backwards as Stephane runs beside him and jumps in._

_Johnny and Stephane swim toward each other, shins and knees knocking together as they try to stay afloat in the deep end. They're saying something that Evan can't hear, and then they're kissing, Stephane's hand winding its way into Johnny's hair, the other one underwater surely doing things to that glorious backside._

Evan feels a harsh pang of jealously as he wakes, breathing quickly and that other all too familiar feeling. He sighs almost angrily as he gets up and out of bed to shower in his private bathroom. 

\--

The water is hot against his back and Evan has one arm against the cool tile and the other hand wrapped around himself, sliding quickly and easily. He doesn't like this- that he has to do this every morning and that each morning he tries to think of someone else, anyone else, but it's always his name he has on his lips as he comes. He doesn't understand it. Not one bit. But he does it anyway, because it's better than walking around with a hard-on all day.

He leans his head against the arm pressed against the tile, stroking quick and hard, biting his lip to keep from being too loud. Not that anyone can hear him, but still. He lets out a little moan as he imagines it's Johnny's hand around him, Johnny pressed against him and pressing him to the wall. Johnny's kissing up his spine as his hand moves faster and faster and he bites down on the junction of Evan's neck and shoulder and Evan comes, nearly whimpering his name, even though he's not actually there.

_Johnny._

\--

It's March, and Evan's been working at Hot Dog on a Stick more than long enough to save up for that car he wanted. He's still working there, though, still saving each paycheck, not spending anymore than he absolutely has to. His back is to the counter as he's wiping down one of the machines. It's a slow day. Not many people come to the mall on a Monday, thank god. 

"You know, Johnny told me you worked here but I didn't believe him," a voice behind him says and Evan turns around. It's Tanith, and she looks adorable as always and she must have just gotten her hair done or something because it looks _great_ and Evan doesn't know why she's talking to him. 

"Yeah," he answers lamely. He's never been much of a conversationalist. There's a weird silence between them and then Evan decides to be brave and say, "How do you know Johnny?"

"We've been friends since like, third grade," Tanith shrugs easily, a fond little smile on her face. Evan nods in reply and steps closer to the counter.

"Uh. Do you...want anything?" he asks and she shakes her head. 

"Are you kidding? Not if I want to fit into this prom dress I just bought," she says, holding up a garment bag that she's been holding the whole time. Prom isn't for another month and Tanith's beautiful, she'd never need to go on a diet ever. 

"I'm sure you'll beautiful no matter what you do," Evan shrugs and then maybe his cheeks turn a little pink because oh god did he really just say that. Tanith sort of stares at him for a minute and he looks away. He spots Johnny walking over, and he thinks _great, this is just what I need._

"Are you going with Ben?" Evan asks her and she blinks a couple of times and then laughs. 

"Ben? No, no! we're just friends. Kind of like Johnny and I. It would just be weird. Besides he has a crush on Sasha Cohen and he's totally going to ask her so," she shrugs, smiling sort of shyly at him. 

Johnny walks up behind her as he asks, "Well, do you want to go with me?" He doesn't have anything to lose, right? And if she rejects him, well, Johnny can just laugh at him about that too. 

Tanith just looks up at him, though, smiling in a sort of surprised way, "Yeah, I really think I do," she says and Evan grins and Johnny interrupts with, 

"Oh my god, Lysacek, did you just get a date in that ridiculous uniform?" His expression looks like he's glaring or jealous but from his tone Evan can tell he's just teasing. Tanith giggles at him and shoves him in the side, and Johnny smiles at her, kissing her on the cheek in greeting. His eyes flick to Evan's for a moment and he licks his lips and it sends a jolt through Evan's spine. His hand tightens on the edge of the counter, but he keeps grinning. 

"Are you going to show me this dress or not?" Johnny asks Tanith, rolling his eyes dramatically, as if she's pulled him away from something utterly important. _Like making out with the Swiss guy,_ Evan thinks kind of bitterly, and whatever he has a date to prom and she's a stone cold fox or whatever that lame expression is that his dad uses. 

"Of course I am!" Tanith replies, "But I want one of those terrible hot dogs on a stick, first." She smiles at Evan who bites his lip and makes one for her, refusing her money. 

"How nice," Johnny notes, tilting his head, "Lysacek's letting you eat his hot dog for free." Evan and Tanith both turn pink and Evan doesn't understand why all of a sudden Johnny's so mean again. They had been getting along so well for awhile. 

"Thanks," Tanith murmurs again, and Evan can tell she's really embarrassed and he kind of hates Johnny for a minute. 

"No problem," he replies and Johnny looks all sorts of satisfied with himself and Evan really, really wants to hit him. They just walk away, though and in a few minutes Tanith is laughing again, smiling as she eats the hot dog. 

\--

"Hey, Tanith," Evan whispers the next day in Math class, leaning forward slightly. They're just supposed to be working on homework, and Mr. Orser isn't really paying attention and other people are talking but maybe Evan's a little nervous. Whatever. 

"Yeah," she whispers back, turning around. Evan smiles at her for a moment, because she's just so pretty and he probably looks really, really dumb.

"You wanna go somewhere this weekend? I have Saturday and Sunday off." 

"Sure! I really want to see that new movie, the one with that guy with the beard. You know?" 

"Yeah," Evan replies. He doesn't know, but whatever, he'll just let Tanith say the name when they buy the tickets or whatever. "Yeah, that sounds good." She smiles happily at him and turns around to work on her math homework.

\--

"I hear you have a date with Tanith on Saturday," Johnny says, leaning against the lockers. He hasn't done that in awhile, which is fine, because Evan's still sort of mad at him. Not that he knows why, but he knows that being mad at him makes the dreams go away. 

"You have good hearing, then, good for you. Four for you, Johnny Weir. You go, Johnny Weir!" Evan quotes at him ridiculously because his sisters love that movie and okay he does too. 

"Did you just quote _Mean Girls_ at me?" Johnny asks, sort of dumbstruck and Evan can't help but feel satisfied. "Whatever, that's not the issue. The issue is, what you're going to wear." Evan raises his eyebrow, but Johnny doesn't notice. 

"Meet me in Banana Republic tonight, okay? At eight." Johnny walks away and Evan doesn't even want to know how he knew when Evan's shift ends.

\--

Evan's there, true to his word, still reeking of grease and hot dogs. Johnny gags and waves him over to a fragrance stand and takes the tester out. "Classic," he mumbles, reading the bottle before spraying Evan with it. He sniffs the air, smiling happily.

"So much better." Evan just pouts. 

"Okay, so we're going to make you look less like a douchebag for your date, alright?"

"I don't look like a-" he's silenced by Johnny's hand over his lips and he has the urge to lick his palm lick you do when you're little because everyone has cooties. He just breathes out hard through his nose, though, tearing his face away. 

"I don't need new clothes, Johnny," he protests, but Johnny's already in the men's section, looking through jeans. He pulls about three different pairs before moving on to shirts, but Evan has a bunch of plain shirts like Johnny's looking at, so he moves to sweaters. 

"How do you feel about argyle?" He asks Evan seriously, and Evan just blinks. 

They look through the sweaters for awhile, and Johnny pulls out about five of them before moving on to accessories, but Evan's distracted by all the graphic tees and polos. He loves a popped collar.

"Okay, the point is to _stop_ you from looking like a douchebag," Johnny says cattily as Evan eyes the display. Evan looks at him, gives him a little shove.

"Whatever. My mom buys all that stuff anyway," he tries to defend himself. 

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure it's your choice to pop the collar." Evan just sighs at him, rolling his eyes for the fortieth time that night.

"Whatever. Come on." 

\--

He only buys one outfit, because Evan's paying for this and Banana Republic is _expensive_ and he's saving up his paychecks for college, even though it's like, a year away still. 

It's a pair of jeans and a deep red sweater and a little thing of that stuff Johnny sprayed on him because it smells really good. 

When Evan had stepped out of the dressing room wearing the jeans and the sweater with his undershirt underneath it, Johnny had blinked a few times, and Evan went quickly to the mirror.

"What?" he'd said, looking at himself. He didn't really look that different. Sure, the clothes were a little tighter than usual but it didn't look _bad_ Evan thought. But he always just wore whatever his mom bought him because he supposed he didn't really know what looked good and what didn't. 

"Nothing," Johnny had replied, his cheeks a little pink. "You look good. I do wonderful work." He grinned and shrugged and Evan rolled his eyes. He could get used to dressing like this. 

\--

"Don't put that nasty gel in your hair either," Johnny tells him as they get into his car. Johnny's always surprised at how clean Evan's car is. He'd expect it to be filled with trash from his job and receipts and stuff, but instead there's just a little trashbag that's never had any trash in it. Ever. When Johnny asks him about it, Evan just shrugs.

"My mom likes things clean, so I kind of just, learned to keep them that way. My room is really clean too," Evan tells him with another shrug. They stop at a stoplight and Evan's phone rings. It's nine-thirty and the only person who ever calls him is his mom.

"Hey mom," he says, turning down the radio, and Johnny's eyebrow raises. "Yeah, I'm coming home now. I have to drop Johnny off, but he lives like ten minutes away. Yeah." Evan glances at Johnny and then pulls the phone down from his mouth, "My mom wants to know if you want some dinner before I take you home." 

"Who eats dinner at nine-thirty?" Johnny asks incredulously, and Evan shrugs. "Yeah, fine, sure," he says, waving a hand, but he might be secretly excited. 

"Yeah, mom, we'll be there in like, fifteen. Yes, I will show you what I bought. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay, okay, bye." He hangs up his phone and decidedly does not look at Johnny.

\--

No one from Evan's class has been inside his house since they were about twelve, and Evan had a birthday party because his pool had just been finished and his parents wanted him to have friends. He'd spent most of the time holed up at the table while everyone else swam and had fun. Evan didn't like to swim in front of people. 

And, of course, the pool light glowing in the backyard is the first thing Johnny notices when he walks in. 

"So you can swim," and there's something that sounds a little like hurt in his voice, but Evan just flusters a bit with his bags and then his mom comes down the stairs and saves him. 

"Hello! You must be Johnny," Evan's mother says, holding out her hand to shake, and Johnny takes it with a smile. "I remember you, actually," she says, a tone of nostalgia to her voice. "From Evan's birthday party a long time ago. You're the one who sat with him, aren't you?"

Evan meets Johnny's eyes and has a flashback of sitting at the table alone, tearing up a napkin into strips. "Can I sit with you?" Johnny had asked, and he wasn't wearing a bathing suit and Evan nodded. 

"Kind of useless for your parents to get a pool when you can't swim, right?" Johnny asked, not looking at Evan.

"My sisters can," Evan had replied, and they didn't say anything to one another until Johnny's mom arrived to pick them up. 

"I can't swim either," Johnny had said before leaving, placing an envelope in Evan's hands. A card. It was his birthday, after all. 

\--

"Swim class," Evan breathes, and Johnny and his mom both look at him strangely. Their conversation has moved on, but Evan's still stuck. 

"Mom, is the heater in the pool on?" She nods in response and Evan drags Johnny up the stairs by his wrist. 

\--

Evan hadn't been lying. His room is spotless, the carpet free of even little scraps of papers or threads from his cheap clothing and when he opens a drawer to fold his new jeans and put them in, the drawer is _organized_ almost meticulously. Johnny's impressed. Evan folds and unfolds his sweater three times before putting it on a hanger and hanging it in his closet. 

"Bulls fan?" Johnny mumbles, looking around. 

"I was born in Chicago," Evan replies, digging through his drawers. "Moved here when I was three. Sisters still have the accent." He emerges with two folded up somethings in his hand, and holds one out to Johnny. It's swim trunks. 

"What?" Johnny asks dumbly.

"We're going swimming," Evan answers, leaving the room to change. Johnny stares at the door. 

\--

It's a little too cold still to really enjoy swimming, but they do have a heater and Evan looks at Johnny as they stand at the edge. He reaches out his hand and Johnny takes it and they jump in together, Evan's mother watching from the patio door. 

They resurface, grinning, and Mrs. Lysacek calls, "You boys be careful!" before she walks back into the house, glad her son finally has a friend. 

Evan goes under the water and swims to the shallower part where he can stand, and Johnny follows. 

"Why wouldn't you swim with Stephane and me?" he asks, moving to his back to float around Evan. 

"I don't like to swim in front of people," Evan shrugs, and Johnny seems to accept this with a nod. His fingertips accidentally brush the skin of Evan's back as he propels himself and Evan shivers, goosebumps rising. 

"Sorry," Johnny murmurs, hand lingering on Evan's back just barely, trailing up to his neck. 

Evan turns to face him, putting a little distance between him and the hand. 

"Are you taking Stephane to prom?" he asks bluntly, ungracefully and Johnny laughs. 

"Only if I want to get pummeled by the football team. No, no, we're taking other dates in separate cars and going to different parties afterward." 

"So you're not-" Evan stops, because he doesn't know how to finish that sentence. 

"Fucking?" Johnny says bitterly, moving to stand and face Evan. "Dating? What, Evan, what were you going to say?" 

Evan gapes for a moment, floundering. 

"I was just going to ask if you wanted to come to dinner with me and Tanith and Sasha and Ben." 

"Oh." Johnny looks surprised and blinks a couple of times. "Yeah, yeah sure. Yu-Na and I would love to, I'm sure." Evan smiles at him.

"Hungry?" he asks.

"Starving," Johnny replies, splashing at him.

\--

_They're in the pool and Johnny is pressed against Evan, weightless as he holds him up and his legs wrap around Evan's waist. Their mouths slide against each other, hot and wet and there's tongues and teeth sinking into lips and fingers pulling at skin and hair and Evan makes a noise that he's pretty sure everyone can hear, but no one else is around, so that doesn't make sense. Johnny's mouth moves to his jaw, his neck, biting at the rapid pulse and making Evan groan, his hands squeeze at Johnny's ass making him moan beautifully against Evan's neck and Johnny breathes his name against his collarbone._

_"Evan," he breathes, fingers running across Evan's chest, sliding over a nipple and catching slightly, making Evan gasp._

_"Evan," he keeps mumbling and it's getting louder and louder until finally-_

"EVAN," his dad positively shouts, and Evan sits bolt upright in bed, breathing hard, obviously startled. 

"What? WHAT?" He answers, shifting to hide the tent but there's nothing he can do about the blush on his cheeks. 

"I need you to mow the lawn before you leave for your date," his dad says simply, shrugging and walking out of the room. Evan breathes heavily through his nose. 

"Okay," he mumbles to no one, getting out of bed. 

\--

He mows the lawn and showers before he has to go pick up Tanith and he's standing in front of the mirror, a towel around his waist. He runs a hand over his hipbone and thinks he'd like to get a tattoo there one day. Could boys do that? Whatever, he doesn't care.

He puts on his new outfit, a dark gray shirt under the sweater and a little spritz of that fragrance and leaves his hair un-gelled and towel dries it the best he can. He walks down the stairs and his mom and sisters sort of blink at him. 

"What?" he asks, self-conscious, 'cause they're looking at him the same way Johnny had. 

"You just look nice, honey," his mom says with a sweet smile, and he feels a little better.

"Positively dapper," Laura snorts and their mother slaps her lightly in the shoulder. 

"Right," Evan replies. "Well, I'll see you later." 

\--

He picks up Tanith, actually going to the door instead of just honking like other guys would do. Evan just thinks that's so rude. 

Her mother answers the door, smiling sadly at him. "I'm so sorry Evan," she says, keeping the screen door closed. "But Tanith is sick. She has a nasty cold." Inside he can hear sneezing and coughing and his face falls. 

"Oh," he replies, confused. She'd seemed fine yesterday in class. "Well, tell her I say to get better soon." He walks back to his car, a little heartbroken. 

He pulls out his phone and calls Johnny. 

"Hello?" Johnny answers breathlessly, like he's been running or something or Evan doesn't even want to think about it. 

"Tanith is sick," Evan says and there's silence on the other end. 

"I'm sorry?" Johnny isn't sure what to say.

"Do you want to hang out?" Evan asks, because he can't go home to his mom and his sisters and he put all this effort and Johnny is the only other friend he has. 

"Yeah, sure, just come on over. I'm cleaning, but I should be done really soon."

"Okay," Evan answers and then hangs up, heading over to Johnny's. 

\--

When Johnny opens the door, he has a bandanna on his head and some cut off jean shorts and a tank top and Evan suddenly feels overdressed. Johnny just looks at him for a moment, studying his hair. 

"You look nice," he says finally, stepping aside so Evan can come in. 

"Well, I had a date, remember," he says and Johnny just shrugs as Evan kicks off his shoes. He doesn't want to track dirt in if Johnny's been cleaning. That'd be rude. 

Johnny leads him upstairs to his room, and they pass by another one, the door quickly closing. "That's Boz," Johnny tells him. "My brother. He doesn't like to be bothered. He's a little shy." 

Johnny walks into his room and Evan follows. 

There are posters everywhere, mainly of women, but not like models and stuff. There's one big one of Audrey Hepburn that's framed over Johnny's bed, a few of Madonna and Britney Spears and some of X-Tina. The room is also meticulously clean, much like Evan's own, and he runs a fingertip along the surface of his dresser. It comes back clean. 

Evan's not sure what he expected, but this definitely wasn't it. 

"This looks like it could be my sister's room," he says, and Johnny huffs out air. 

"Sorry," Evan apologizes. "I didn't mean it like- I'm just surprised." Johnny just shrugs and flops down on his double bed, patting next to him. Evan sits awkwardly. 

"Why did you call me?" Johnny asks him, staring up at the ceiling instead of looking at Evan, who shrugs.

"You're the only other friend I have." Johnny grins as Evan lies back, setting his head on Johnny's stomach. He's too tall to really stretch out without being all over Johnny, so he just keeps his head there moves so his legs hang off the end of the bed. Johnny's hand goes to Evan's hair, carding through it gently. There's a small smile on his face that Evan can't see. 

"Is this okay?" Johnny whispers into the air, and Evan nods under his fingers.

"It's perfect." 

\--

"Why don't you hang out with Stephane anymore?" Evan asks suddenly, a little while later. Johnny thought he had fallen asleep, so it startles him. 

"He got new friends, I guess," Johnny says a little sadly. "He's going back home soon, anyway. And it's not like I have the money to visit him, so it's just best to drift apart." 

"Did you guys ever- you know..." Evan asks awkwardly. He isn't so sure he wants to know the answer, but Johnny just laughs.

"Not that it's any of your wiener loving business, Lysacek, but no. Nothing ever happened. Stephane's to slutty for me anyway." 

Evan's relieved and he doesn't know why. He rolls over on the bed, chin on Johnny's chest, looking at him. 

"How did you know I love wieners?" he asks seriously, raising an eyebrow at Johnny. Johnny looks at him, confused for a minute and then,

"You're such a dick, Evan," he says, shoving his face away with his hand. 

"Come on, let's go see a movie." 

"Okay, but I have to change first." There's a pause and neither of them move. 

"You have to get off me, Evan."

"Right," he says, clambering off the bed. "I'll wait downstairs." And he's out of the room as Johnny's pulling off his tank top. 

\--

 

They go to the theatre and Evan notices that people are like, staring at him kind of, especially girls, and it's weird. 

"Are people looking at me or you?" he mumbles, picking some random movie and getting the tickets. 

"Well, I look like shit," Johnny says, "so they must be admiring my handiwork." He grins proudly up at Evan who rolls his eyes and shoves at him. He has the urge to put his arm around Johnny's shoulder as they walk, but that would be weird, wouldn't it?

He gets them each a drink instead and a giant thing of popcorn so his hands are full as they walk to their seats. The theatre is mostly empty and they're all the way on the back row, in the middle. The nearest people are at least six rows down, and they're already making out, causing Johnny and Evan to snort at them quietly. 

"Some people, huh?" Evan says and they look at each other and it's kind of awkward for a minute. They settle back in the seats as the previews start. 

\--

The bag of popcorn is nestled between them, and neither of them are really paying attention when they both reach in and their hands brush each other and Evan pulls his back as if he's been burned.

"Sorry dude," he mumbles, and Johnny just snorts. 

\--

The movie is _terrible._ Johnny and Evan spend the whole time making catty comments to each other about it and laughing so loudly that the couple making out shushes them a few times. Evan pushes open the doors and expects blaring light, but the sun is setting and he doesn't want to go home yet. 

Evan drives to the spot where his dad used to take him camping, up on a hill where you can see the horizon for miles and the sunset is breathtaking. He'd take Tanith here, if she weren't sick. 

They sit on the hood of the car, hips and legs touching and Evan's hand is on the other side of Johnny's hips. Johnny leans his head on Evan's shoulder, sighing contentedly and Evan lets himself lean into him a little. 

"I kind of hate you right now," Johnny says conversationally, and Evan blinks.

"Why?" 

"Because if this were a date, I could kiss you right now and you wouldn't freak out." 

"Oh," Evan says, stiffening and moving away a little, and Johnny sighs again, upset. 

"Well, I ruined that moment," he says, sliding off the car. "Come on, take me home." Evan nods in agreement and they ride in silence on the way back. 

\--

"You were gone for a long time," Evan's mom says as he walks into the kitchen. "Did Tanith have a good time?"

"She's sick," he tells her, shrugging. I hung out with Johnny instead."

"Oh. Well, alright then, as long as you had a good time," his mother shrugs. "Dinner will be ready in ten minutes. Go wash your hands." 

\--

Evan takes Tanith out the next weekend, because she feels terrible that she was sick and she really does like him. And he really likes her, so the next Saturday, he does everything the same and wears his red sweater and goes to pick her up. 

They end up going to the same movie as last weekend, because it's the one Tanith had wanted to see and Evan doesn't have the heart to tell her it's terrible. 

It doesn't really matter, because halfway through the movie, when Evan puts his arms around Tanith's shoulders and she leans in, Evan kisses her and the rest of the movie is lost to both of them. 

He doesn't take her to the camping spot, because it isn't quite sunset yet, and they did more than enough kissing in the theatre and Evan's sure he has a hickey on his neck. 

"I'll see you Monday," Tanith mumbles against his mouth in the car outside her house, and Evan just nods, kissing her again. He likes kissing her, he really does, and he's glad because maybe now he'll stop wanting to kiss Johnny. 

She walks up to her door with a little sway to her hips, and Evan chuckles to himself, grinning. 

Definitely a stone cold fox. 

\--

Johnny sees the hickey on Evan's neck the next day when he goes to visit him at work. He has a weird sort of look on his face that Evan doesn't notice. 

"Good day yesterday?" Johnny asks sourly, and Evan nods happily in response.

"Very good." Johnny just rolls his eyes and Evan doesn't understand why he sounds so mad at all. He tells Frank he's going on break and walks around the counter to Johnny, taking his arm and leading him into the bathroom. 

"What's wrong with you?" he says, letting go of his arm with a little extra shove. 

"Nothing's wrong with me," Johnny spits back, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away. Evan doesn't even know why he tries.

"Fine, whatever, come talk to me when you decide you don't hate me again, because I don't have to deal with this, okay? You're the one that decided to be friends with me, and I don't need to deal with your moody sh-"

He's cut off by Johnny grabbing his stupid uniform shirt and pulling him close, crushing their mouths together in a kiss that Evan's returning before he can stop himself. Johnny pulls away roughly, breathing hard and says, "You taste like hot dogs," before walking out of the bathroom, leaving Evan there to try and catch his breath. 

\--

They don't speak to each other until the week before prom, and Evan awkwardly approaches Johnny in English, clearing his throat.

"So, you can either meet us at the restaurant or you can come to my house and take photos with us at five-thirty," Evan says, and Johnny looks at him like he's insane. 

"Prom?" Evan supplies, and Johnny blinks.

"Oh, I didn't know if I was still invited," he says quietly. 

"Don't be stupid, Weir," Evan replies. "So which do you want to do?"

"I can bring Yu-Na to your house," Johnny smiles and Evan nods. 

"Great." 

\--

Evan messes with the lapels of his jacket awkwardly, smoothing it over and over. 

"Stop fussing," his mother chides, and Evan tries. 

Tanith's dress is blue, so Evan's wearing a tux with a dark blue cummerbund and bow tie. He feels ridiculous, but his mother assures him that he looks nice and he kind of wishes that Johnny had been there to help him pick it out instead of her. But he and Tanith go beautifully together, and that's really all that matters, he supposes. 

Ben and Sasha show up, and Sasha's dress is deep purple and Ben's wearing a purple tie to go with her and he doesn't look ridiculous like Evan does. They all start talking and the doorbell rings one more time and Evan goes to answer it. 

Johnny's standing there with Yu-Na on his arm. Her dress is black with gold beaded details, and she looks absolutely beautiful. Johnny's wearing all black and a long, skinny gold tie. When Evan looks closer, he realizes Johnny's shirt is a little see through. Oh.

"Come in!" Evan's mother shrieks from behind him, letting them in. Patti Weir follows them, camera in hand. 

"I promised to take photos for Mr. and Mrs. Kim, is that alright?" she asks Mrs. Lysacek, who nods. 

"Of course, of course. Can I get you anything?" They walk into the kitchen with the rest of the parents and leave the kids sort of standing in a circle. 

"I really like your dress, Yu-Na," Tanith says, smiling and Evan holds her hand. Johnny sees it, but he just says,

"Nice bow tie, Lysacek," with a snort and Evan gives him the stink eye.

"I think it's cute," Tanith replies, reaching up to straighten it a little and Evan leans down to kiss her softly on the mouth. It's a little sickeningly cute, and Ben groans at them.

"Get a room," he says, and Evan shoots him the finger.

"Picture time!" Tanya calls from the kitchen, and they all file out to the pool. 

\--

They do about fifty group shots and then individual shots and then couples and then all the boys and all the girls. It's a little after six before they leave, all going to their separate cars. 

"You want to ride with us, Johnny?" Evan asks, because he knows Johnny doesn't have a car and he doesn't want Patti to have to drive him everywhere. 

Johnny and Yu-Na look at each other before nodding at him. They all get in Evan's super clean silver Buick and drive to the restaurant.

Dinner goes just fine, and Evan doesn't even know why he thinks it wouldn't have. They all eat and have lots of silly conversations and laugh so hard their faces turn red, and Evan is just really, really glad.

\--

The dance itself is a different sort of thing, because Evan doesn't dance. He's so tall and awkward that he'd rather just stand awkwardly like a lot of other boys and not dance like Johnny and Ben are doing. They're both so fluid and maybe not _graceful_ but they know what they're doing and since Evan isn't dancing, Yu-Na and Tanith are both dancing with Johnny, pressed against either side of him and their bodies are sliding and grinding and Evan feels really, really awkward. 

They leave after two hours, though, to go to a party, where Evan can just drink his awkwardness away and that will be great. Just dandy, even. 

Except they need a designated driver, because they aren't stupid, and there's no way Evan is letting Ben or Johnny drive his car. No way. So, he ends up with an actual soda somehow, and he's sitting on the bed in someone's bedroom when Johnny falls through the door, giggling loudly. He spots Evan on the bed and puts his cup down on the dresser, stumbling over and crawling onto the bed. 

"'M sorry you can't drink," Johnny mumbles, hands caging in Evan's hips and he's leaning close, resting his forehead on Evan's. 

"You're totally wasted," Evan notes, and Johnny smiles before he kisses Evan again, sloppy. 

It's not particularly good, because Johnny is very, very drunk and Evan isn't so he can't just let go and enjoy it, no matter how much he'd like to. Instead, he pushes Johnny away gently, brushing his hair back from his face. 

"We can't do that," Evan says. Johnny pouts.

"Why not?" Evan just smiles at him, thumb running over his eyebrow. 

\--

They all pile into Evan's car when they want to leave, Johnny in the front seat and the rest of them in the back. It's totally illegal, but at least Evan's not drunk and hopefully they won't crash. 

Evan drives to his house, letting them all in through the garage door and taking them down to the basement that's been set up for them to sleep in. There's a pull out couch and some other mattresses on the floor and blankets everywhere and Evan makes sure they're all ok and that they can't get outside to go swimming or something. He stays with them until they all fall asleep or pass out, and gets up quietly to go to his room.

"Where are you going?" Johnny whispers at him. He's sobered up some, so Evan holds out his hand. Johnny takes it and they go up the stairs together. 

\--

Evan gets him a glass of water in the kitchen so maybe he won't have a terrible hangover in the morning.

"Drink all of it," he says, and Johnny rolls his eyes.

"Okay, Mom." Evan smiles as he finishes it and refills it. Johnny drinks that one, too, and finally Evan seems satisfied. 

They go upstairs to his room, and Evan changes into pajamas, handing his tux up.

"You're so anal, wiener boy," Johnny says, teasing and Evan snorts.

"Takes one to know one."

\--

And then they're lying in Evan's bed, Johnny's discarded his tux to wear some of Evan's pajamas and they're both under the covers and it's the same size as Johnny's bed but he feels like he's going to suffocate. 

And then, Evan rolls to his side, facing Johnny, tugging on the hem of his shirt under the covers.

"Yeah?" Johnny says.

"Yeah." Evan answers and then leans forward to kiss him. 

The kiss is much better than the other one, because Johnny isn't as drunk and Evan isn't as afraid and he just wants to do this. Johnny makes a noise in the back of his throat, and Evan shifts so he's straddling his hips. He pulls away slightly, to look at Johnny.

"Is this okay?" he whispers into the air between them.

"It's perfect," Johnny answers, tugging on Evan's shirt to kiss him again. 

Johnny's hands are everywhere, Evan thinks. In his hair, on his neck, his chest, under his shirt and it's just like the dreams but better, because he can feel the vibrations in Johnny's chest as he makes noises, he can feel the tug on his hair and Johnny moving under him. 

Johnny rolls them, so he's on top of Evan and his hands are sliding under the shirt again, pushing it up to kiss his stomach, his chest. Johnny's teeth catch a nipple and Evan trembles under him, a hand tangling in Johnny's hair. 

"Johnny," he breathes as the boy kisses along Evan's collar bone, being careful not to leave marks. He hits a good spot and Evan's hips slide against Johnny's as he shifts, and they both gasp. They stop for a moment, Evan's hands moving to Johnny's hips to hold them, and they look at each other, trying to decide if this is okay. Johnny leans down tentatively to kiss him, and Evan brings his hips up as he drags Johnny's down, moaning into his mouth. 

Evan's hands move to Johnny's ass and pulls him closer as they kiss, their hips rolling together. Johnny starts to move down, though, kissing Evan's chest and stomach again, fingers untying the string of his pajama bottoms. Evan makes a noise, sad he's lost Johnny's mouth, and he touches his fingertips to the other boy's cheek, tilting his head up. He's shaking his head because he can't form words yet.

"I don't- That's not-" Johnny sits up a little, confused and a little angry and Evan can tell he's about to throw a fit. He sits up as well, the hand on Johnny's cheek sinking into his hair. 

"Too fast," Evan finally mumbles and Johnny gets it and goes back to kissing him.

\--

They wake the next morning absolutely tangled in each other. Evan's head is on Johnny's chest and their legs are twined and one of Evan's arms is asleep under the weight of Johnny's body. Evan smiles sleepily at him, though, leaning up to press his nose into Johnny's neck, teeth running over his Adam's apple. He kisses Johnny softly, but Johnny has this weird sort of look on his face, like he's going to be sick and Evan sits up, looking down at him. Of course this is happening. Of course Johnny regrets it because Evan can't have anything the way he wants it or needs it, can he? How could he have been so stupid?

"I'm so stupid," he scoffs, untangling himself and getting out of the bed. He wasn't even drunk last night. At least Johnny had a valid excuse other than uncontrollable hormones. 

"You're not stupid," Johnny mumbles, whispers really, not looking at Evan and plucking at a thread on the comforter. "I'm sorry-" he starts to say, but Evan cuts him off.

"No, _I'm_ sorry. You were- you were drunk. You could barely stand. I took advantage of you. That's not- That isn't right. I should have slept downstairs with everyone else. Or made you stay down there. Or just done anything besides what I did." 

Evan can't look at Johnny as he slides off the bed and picks up the tux, moving into the bathroom to change. Evan sits on the end of the bed, head in his hands as he tries to forget how good last night was, how Johnny knew just what he wanted. 

Tanith opens the door and walks in, still in her dress, and sits on Evan's lap, pulling his hands away from his face, kissing his cheeks, his nose, his chin. It's easy for him to return those kisses, a hand resting lazily on her waist and one in her hair and he pushes all thoughts of Johnny out of his mind. 

Until, of course, he walks out of the bathroom. He quickly drops the pajamas and kicks them back in the bathroom, closing the door with a sharp snap to knock them out of it. Tanith looks embarrassed, but Evan, Evan doesn't even look like he cares. His eyelids are heavy and his lips are swollen and pink again, but it's from Tanith's mouth, not Johnny's, and they stare at each other for a moment before Tanith finally speaks. 

"What are you doing up here?" She asks Johnny. 

"He slept up here," Evan answers for him, still looking at him, but finally turning his gaze to Tanith. "Something about being afraid of the dark. I don't know, he was drunk, I took pity," he jokes and Tanith laughs and it stings Johnny more than they both know. Johnny's fist clenches and unclenches and he can't even think of a witty reply before his mother is bursting through the door and then stopping suddenly at the strange scene. 

Evan's hands move away from Tanith quickly and she slides off him to sit by him on the bed. Johnny just stands there, still looking kind of hurt, and Mrs. Lysacek clears her throat.

"I'm making breakfast for everyone," she says. "You should inform your friends." 

"I'll do it." Tanith gets up from the bed and follows Evan's mom out, closing the door behind her. 

Johnny stares coldly at Evan, who just looks at him.

"What?" he asks, sounding tired because all of a sudden he is. He's just tired. 

"You know what," Johnny replies harshly, and Evan sighs. 

"What was I supposed to say, Johnny? What was I going to tell her? Oh yeah, Johnny slept up here last night. We made out and he almost blew me, it was a good time, you should have been there!" Evan scoffs, rolling his eyes.

"She likes me, I can't just. I can't hurt her like that. You shouldn't either, not with how long you've known her." Evan stands and Johnny backs away.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I'm trying to get a change of clothes. Get out of my way." Johnny scoffs and walks out of his room and into the kitchen to help Mrs. Lysacek with breakfast. 

\--

Most everyone's up by the time Evan comes downstairs, face washed and in a change of clothes. He's wearing the jeans from Banana Republic because they were the only thing he could find and one of his t-shirts and he sits on a stool surrounding the big island in the kitchen, leaning his chin in his hand. 

He doesn't look at Johnny as he serves people food, spooning out scrambled eggs and some sausage and bacon. He just drinks his orange juice, looking into the glass as the food gets put on his plate. Johnny sits next to him, though, putting only a little food on his own plate, and Evan pretends not to care. 

"Oh honey, you need to eat more than that," Mrs. Lysacek chides and Johnny grins sheepishly. 

"I don't really have much of an appetite in the morning, Tanya," and Evan thinks that only Johnny can get away with calling her that. Mrs. Lysacek looks like she doesn't really believes him but leaves it anyway. 

They eat their food in relative silence and then they leave, Ben and Sasha first and then Tanith, taking Yu-Na along with her. 

Tanith says something in Evan's ear before she leaves and Evan sort of chuckles, leaning down to kiss her, soft, just like he'd kissed Johnny that same morning. He watches them drive off and stands next to Evan in the doorway.

"Ride home?" he asks, and Evan nods, going to get his keys. 

\--

Evan stops the car in the driveway, turning it off out of habit and Johnny doesn't get out right away. Evan opens his mouth to say something, but Johnny beats him.

"What do you want, Evan?" He looks sort of hopeless, sort of lost and Evan can only shrug.

"What do you mean?" 

"It's me or her. You can't have us both, and I'm not pulling that kind of stuff on Tanith. I love her too much. I can't just- I can't do that to her. So it's me or her." 

Evan is silent for a long time, pulled from his thoughts by the click of Johnny's seat belt being undone. 

"Johnny," he says, but Johnny just scoffs.

"Whatever. I can see you want her. That's fine, that's great, I'm happy for you. I just- Whatever it doesn't matter." But Evan thinks it does, and he grabs Johnny's wrist, keeping him in. 

"I can't-" he starts, and he realizes this is going to be bad. "I can't be what you need. It's easier with her. It's easy to kiss her and hold hands and go places and be with her in public. I'm not- I'm not brave enough to do that with you. I just- I can't."

"That's bullshit," Johnny says, and there's a threatening waver in his voice and Evan's sure he'd see tears glistening if he could meet them. Johnny wrenches his hand out of Evan's and opens the door. 

"If you wanted it enough- If you wanted _me_ enough, it wouldn't matter," he bites, sniffing as he slams the car door shut and stalks into his house. Evan watches him go, starting his car again and pulling out of the driveway. 

\--

Evan doesn't see Johnny in school the next day. 

That isn't particularly weird, because sometimes they just don't see each other, but Evan is actively looking for him and he's nowhere to be found. He sees Stephane multiple times, with two other exchange students, but he can't find Johnny. 

Not that he really knows what he'd say to Johnny if he did see him. "hey, sorry we made out and then I made out with a girl in front of you," just doesn't sound like something Johnny would want to hear. (And for once, Evan's right.) 

He pushes it from his mind, though, because whatever, it's just Johnny. Evan still has Tanith. 

\--

School ends in the next few weeks and summer starts and Evan is still working at Hot Dog on a Stick. They've gotten new uniforms, finally, and Mr. Carroll promoted Evan to assistant manager, which means he gets to yell at people more than he has to dip hot dogs. It's nice. 

What isn't nice is that Tanith is going on a huge trip to Europe for most of the summer to visit her cousins or something and she breaks up with Evan. 

He doesn't really mind being broken up with, because whatever, it's not like he was going to marry her or even really loved her. She's a nice girl and a good kisser and super smokin' and Evan figures he was lucky to have her for as long as he did. No, what really bothers him is that she's going to be gone for a month and a half, and she was basically the only friend he had left. 

Evan just doesn't like to talk to people, not really, so he ends up working until he can barely stand and then goes home and goes to bed. He doesn't think about Johnny, and he doesn't think about Tanith and he just works. 

\--

Johnny moves away that summer, something about how his dad needs to be closer to a place that's better for his PT because he was in some accident and Evan doesn't really understand the details, just what his mom tells him that Patti told her. 

Johnny doesn't even come by to say goodbye or call or anything and Evan's too much of a coward to do it himself. 

He calls a few times after Johnny's already gone, and Johnny must have deleted Evan's number because he picks up each time, saying "hello??" into the receiver more than once as Evan breathes on the other end and hangs up. He just likes to hear Johnny's voice from time to time. Make sure he's okay. He thinks that one day he'll probably talk to him. 

\--

Sometime in July, Evan walks in to Banana Republic, prepared to spend more than he really wants to for an outfit for a college interview. Sure, it's early, but whatever, Evan just likes to be ahead of the game. 

As he's looking through sweaters, a woman approaches him, holding out her hand.

"Hi, I'm Jillian Turman, and I work with GAP." She smiles nicely at Evan, sort of stares back at her, confused, and finally takes her hand to shake it.

"Hello," he says slowly. "I'm Evan Lysacek." 

"Tell me, Evan," she says, flashing that smile again, "have you ever thought about modeling?"

\--

By the next summer, Evan's face is everywhere. 

Well, not _everywhere_ , but it's definitely in all of the GAP ads in the magazines and they want him to do a commercial and it's all kind of overwhelming. He has to quit his job at Hot Dog on a Stick, obviously, and he's sort of sad to leave. He'd gotten to like the smell of batter at seven in the morning. 

\--

Johnny opens an issue of Teen Vogue because it's promising an article on the best sort of lip gloss for the summer and the first thing he sees is Evan's face. 

He stares at it for a really long time before closing the magazine and running downstairs to show his mom.

He calls Evan the next day.

"I can't believe you would leave your hot dogs for something as vain as being a model," Johnny says, because he doesn't know how to start with _I'm sorry_ or _I miss you all the time_ or _I think I kind of love you_ so it's the dig about hot dogs instead, and he can hear Evan's brow furrow on the other end.

"Johnny, why are you-"

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Johnny cuts him off. "I'm sorry I acted how I did and that I just kind of left and never said anything and just- I'm sorry."

Evan's quiet for a long time, probably chewing on his lip or scratching his head or something. 

"I'm sorry too," he says finally, so quiet that Johnny has to press the phone to his ear. "For everything." 

"Don't tell that to me," Johnny replies with a flip of his hand that Evan can just imagine. "tell it to the poor hot dogs you abandoned."

Evan laughs on the other end, and Johnny wishes he were there to see it. 

\--

As it turns out, they both end up going to college in New York City. 

Johnny's always known he'd end up there one day, with his love of fashion and all, so he applies and is accepted to FIT. There's lots of loans he has to take out to afford it, and he gets every scholarship he can because he knows it will be totally worth it if he can just get through it. 

Evan, on the other hand, never really knew what he wanted. Well, he's always liked Physics and Math and building things so he thinks maybe he'll become an architect or an engineer or something, and he gets accepted to NYU. They don't even realize they're going to the same place until Evan brings it up in conversation one day. 

"You're going to NYU?" Johnny asks, and he can hear Evan shrug on the other end. 

"Yeah. Seemed like a good choice. I can still do some print ads and keep my income up so I don't go broke paying for it."

"Okay, well, you totally have to come model for me in my shows, then," Johnny states, like Evan should totally know what he's talking about. Evan doesn't.

"Uh? Okay?" There's silence as they both wait for the other to speak.

"I'm going to FIT, nerd."

"Ohhhh. Okay. Sure, that sounds like fun," Evan tells him, but secretly he's sort of nervous. They haven't seen each other in like, a year plus a few months and Evan doesn't even know what Johnny looks like anymore.

"What do you look like?" he asks suddenly, stupidly. 

"Are you trying to have phone sex with me?" Johnny asks, and Evan can't tell if he's joking.

"Shut up, asshole, we haven't seen each other in forever and I don't even know if you look the same. Do you?" 

"I guess. My hair's different, but I'm still the same person, Evan. Maybe just a little smarter." 

"Yeah," Evan says softly, because he doesn't even need to ask what Johnny's smarter about.

"Do you want to meet up, like, before it all starts? I have some shoots I have to do before school begins so I'm heading up early and I'm sure you could like, visit me or something or we could hang out afterward." Evan has to clamp his mouth shut because he's rambling horribly and it's annoying, he's sure.

"Yeah," Johnny answers. "My mom has to bring me up early anyway. I'd like that." He pauses. "I'd like that a lot." 

\--

Evan spots Johnny immediately as he steps off the train. He's carrying some ridiculous fake Louis Vuttion bag (not that Evan knows it's fake, or that it's Louis Vuttion) and his jacket is vaguely sparkly and his jeans are tight like girl jeans (not that Evan minds because he's sure they make Johnny's ass look _great_ and awesome, five seconds in and he's already having thoughts like that again) and his hair is like a pompadour but not and his lips shine like they have gloss on them. 

Evan looks different too, of course, Johnny notes. He's taller, if that's possible, and his hair seems to be gelled again, but maybe with actual product that's good for it instead of Elmer's glue, and he's tan, if not a little bit orange, but he's wearing those stupid jeans from Banana Republic and the red sweater, too, and Johnny kind of hates him for remembering. 

"Hey," Evan says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

"Really?" Johnny says, pushing his sunglasses up. "More than a year and that's all I get?" His hands are on his hips and there's a teasing smile playing at his lips like he knows just how to get what he wants.

Evan looks down for a moment, biting his lip before slowly pulling his hands out of his pockets and wrapping his arms around Johnny's shoulders. 

"You don't have to be afraid," Johnny whispers, and Evan hugs him tighter. 

"I missed you so much," he admits, mouth against Johnny's ear, nose in his hair. 

"I missed you too," Johnny says, because it's true. 

\--

Evan takes Johnny with him on his photo shoot, and he's worried that it'll be bad, Johnny will be bored or something or make fun of him or just anything, but he doesn't. It's fine. He's even helpful at times, blending a little bit of the make up better or adjusting something on Evan so it doesn't look awkward and each time he does, Evan just smiles a little stupidly down at him, catching his hands or brushing his hair back. 

The photographer likes it, the way Evan's face changes when Johnny comes near, so when Evan's changing outfits, he tells Johnny to make him laugh.

"Just how many hot dog babies did you abandon, Lysacek?" Johnny asks when Evan comes back out and stands in front of the camera again. Evan loses his composure and his eyes close as he laughs and grins and the photographer takes the picture. Evan opens his eyes again, looking at Johnny, not at the camera.

"I'll have you know that I am not the father of a single one of those hot dogs," he retorts. 

"Oh yeah? How do you know that? Did you go on Maury? It's not official until you go on Maury," Johnny says. "I mean, you can deny all you want, but until that silver fox says that you are NOT the father, I don't believe a single thing you say."

"Did you just call Maury Povich a silver fox?" Evan asks, confused, and the photographer takes another one. Johnny ignores them both.

"No, seriously, I would pay good money to see that hot dog mama screaming at you. _I LOVED YOU, I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING AND YOU LEFT ME TO BE A MODEL? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU. I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE YELLED AT ANYONE LIKE THIS,_ " Johnny's screeching and Evan's cracking up. He has to crouch for a minute, he's laughing so hard, and he can't really breathe and the photographer is snapping picture after picture. He seems satisfied eventually, and lifts his camera, fiddling with something.

Evan sits down, still chuckling and reaches a hand out to Johnny, who comes over and sits on his lap. They're having some conversation that the photographer can't hear, but their faces are close, and Evan's sort of chuckling at something and says another thing and it makes Johnny throw his head back to laugh, his hand touching the middle of Evan's chest gently, and Evan's just looking at him, watching him laugh like he couldn't be any happier than he is right now. 

The photographer takes one last picture of them before handing his camera off.

\--

They both start school in the next couple of days, and they're trying to talk as much as they can, but daily phone calls turn into daily texts, which turns into texts every few days and then maybe, if they're lucky, once a week. 

Evan isn't having as much trouble making friends at school, probably because a lot of people, girls especially, recognize him from magazines and they're sort of stoked to know a model. He gets invited to his fair share of parties, sleeps with a few girls, and maybe, behind closed and locked and dead bolted doors, makes out with a few guys with dark hair and green eyes.

\--

_there's a show next week that my friend stephanie is running and she needs more models, can you help out?_

Evan gets the text at eight at night, as he's working on an essay for his history class. He has a big project due next week, but he hasn't seen Johnny since school started and he misses him. A lot. 

_yeah, no problem, just give me info and I'll clear my schedule. btw, i finally got pix from that session a few weeks ago. e-mailing one i think you'll like._

_thanks a million kitten! seriously, what would i do without you? xx <3_

Evan e-mails the last picture the photographer took, the one where Johnny's on his lap and they're laughing. He wants to print it out and frame it or something, but that's a little too sentimental, isn't it.

\--

He arrives at the address Johnny's given him at the time he told him to be there and stares at the building. He's nervous, and he doesn't know why. Maybe it's because he's realized finally that maybe he's a little in love with Johnny and for some reason he thinks Johnny will be able to read his mind or something. Whatever, Evan's just being an idiot so he opens the door and walks up the stairs to the floor with the design rooms and knocks.

"Come in, come in!" a voice calls and Evan opens the door slowly, sort of afraid of what he'll find. 

It's surprisingly organized, which is nice, because he expected fabric and scissors and thread and fur and feathers everywhere, but they're not. There are outfits hanging neatly on a rack beside a table that has another outfit on it. All of the sewing and pinning supplies seem to be in a box on the table as well, all organized by color. 

A girl walks out of a closet filled with fabrics and smiles brightly at Evan. 

"Hi! You're Evan, right? Johnny's friend?" Evan nods and sticks out his hand. 

"He warned me you wouldn't be that much of a talker," she says, shaking it and going to the rack to pull something off. It's all black, which is what Evan is usually put in if the show is for something besides formal wear, because it makes him look long and lean. Not that he isn't otherwise. It just creates a very nice effect on the runway. 

Evan takes the outfit and looks around for a moment before spotting a screen to change behind. 

"Can I uh-" he motions to the screen and Stephanie looks around. 

"Oh, yeah sure! Go ahead! The shirt doesn't have buttons yet, I'm just warning you," she says as he walks behind the screen and begins to change. 

He walks back out in a few minutes, the shirt billowing open to show off his chest and stomach, which, since becoming a professional model, he's started working on very rigorously. Stephanie lets out a low whistle.

"Maybe I should just leave it like that, huh?" she asks, waggling her eyebrows. Evan chuckles and turns sort of pink as she bends down and starts making adjustments to the pants. The door opens behind them and Evan jumps as he hears a familiar laugh and Stephanie accidentally stabs him with a pin. He hisses in pain.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" she says, looking up at him and Johnny laughs.

"Please try to refrain from killing my friends, Stephanie," he says walking around to hug her without even glancing at Evan. He turns, though, to look at Evan and maybe hug him but he gets distracted by the openness of his shirt.

"Oh," is all he can say as he stares. 

"I know, right," Stephanie says, "I kind of like it. I'm thinking a light gray shirt underneath and one of those matching scarves around his neck."

Johnny doesn't reply for a minute, just looking Evan up and down and it makes him squirm. Stephanie stands, and Johnny leans in, tugging him down to kiss his cheek. 

"I think that would look absolutely devastating," Johnny says, letting him go to look at her again. 

"Good or bad?" she asks, raising her eyebrow. You can never quite tell, with Johnny.

"Good," he says decisively. "Very good." 

\--

Later, after Stephanie's done, Johnny introduces Evan to his boyfriend, Drew. 

"It's good to meet you," Drew says nicely, shaking Evan's hand. "Johnny always talks about you. 'Oh my god you should meet my model friend Evan. He was the first boy I ever made out with and now he's a model that makes me hot shit.'" Drew rolls his eyes in a sort of loving way and Johnny's cheeks are very pink.

"I was the first boy you ever made out with?" Evan asks him, and Johnny just scoffs.

"Whatever, that's not anything important, doesn't matter, old news, come on, let's go eat I'm starving." 

Except Evan thinks it's very, very important. 

\--

Stephanie does indeed keep the buttons off the shirt and makes Evan a special gray shirt to wear under it. It has a metallic silver zigzag down the middle, and it looks kind of like an art deco-ish lightning bolt. Evan likes it. 

"This is good," he says, his hand smoothing over the bolt. "I'll buy this from you, when the shows over and it's all graded or whatever." Stephanie looks up at him like that's the nicest thing anyone's said to her, ever, and she nods. 

"Sure, sure. Sounds good." 

\--

The show goes just fine, and it ends up being after the due date of his project, which is even better because that means he gets it finished on time. There's an after party, too, and Johnny's there with Drew. 

It's like they're attached at the hip or something, too, because where ever Johnny goes, Drew goes and vice versa and Evan knows that when they both go into the bathroom that they're totally making out and maybe he's a little jealous. 

He hates to get drunk to make the feelings go away though, so he doesn't, choosing instead to flirt with another one of the models from Stephanie's show. 

"You're like, a professional, right?" She slurs at him, and Evan nods.

"You should give your agent my number. I'm just saying." Evan sighs and takes her card, knowing he'll lose it in a trash can on the way back to his dorm. It happens to him all the time, and he hates it. And he still doesn't really have any friends because Johnny's with Drew all the time or busy with school and Evan only goes to parties when he's feeling self-destructive. 

But Evan supposes Stephanie could be his friend. She's nice, and cute and he doesn't want to sleep with her or anything, but he could talk to her about stuff or something, and that's why when she sits down next to him on the couch, he's the first one to speak. 

"How much do you want for it?" Evan asks her.

"Well, it was probably only like, $20 or $30 to make, but for you? $500." She grins at him, and Evan laughs. 

"I'll give you sixty," he says, and she shrugs like that's just fine. 

\--

"Evan, what are you doing?" Johnny asks him, hands on his hips and he's swaying dangerously, like without Drew he doesn't know how to stand. 

Evan's been sitting outside alone for at least an hour, trying to see the stars in the sky but he can't because there's too much light pollution. 

"Stargazing," he answers and Johnny sits on his lap, leaning back against him. 

"I like your shirt," Johnny mumbles at him, like he's going to fall asleep and Evan's hand goes to his side, soothing up and down it. 

"Where's Drew?" Evan asks him, and Johnny shrugs, shutting his eyes and relaxing a little more, turning his face so it presses into Evan's neck. 

"I don't miss Drew. It doesn't matter."

"Who do you miss?"

"Who do you think?" 

Evan's hand stills on Johnny's side and he has to actively keep himself from leaning down to kiss him. 

"I miss you too," he says finally, his hand moving again, and Johnny falls asleep on him. 

\--

The party is in Drew's apartment and almost everyone is gone by the time Evan carries Johnny in and sets him on the futon that someone has rolled down. He wanders around for a little bit, looking for Drew to tell him about Johnny and finds the bedroom finally and pushes the door open a little. 

And of course what he sees is Drew making out with some other guy, some model in the show and Evan wants to throw up. He just walks back out to where Johnny is, though, and nudges him gently awake. 

"Come on, we're going to sleep in my dorm, okay?" Evan says and Johnny nods, too tired and drunk to protest. Maybe he doesn't remember that they're in his boyfriend's apartment or maybe he just doesn't want to stay here, because he wakes himself up enough to follow Evan out. 

\--

They change into pajamas and fall into Evan's tiny dorm bed, but it's okay because it's starting to get chilly and they're keeping each other warm by being this close. That's all it is. 

\--

"You smell the same," Johnny mumbles against Evan's chest in the morning when they're half-awake. He obviously remembers coming here, which Evan is thankful for, since he doesn't really want to deal with a hissy fit. 

"What do I smell like?"

"Home," Johnny says, not thinking. He pauses for a moment and leans back to look Evan in the eye. "And a little like hot dogs." Evan snorts.

\--

They're at a coffee shop getting breakfast and Evan doesn't know whether or not he should tell Johnny about what he saw. He takes a sip of his drink and looks at Johnny for a moment, who notices.

"What?" he asks, smiling a little, confused. 

"I went looking for Drew last night, after we came in from the patio and I found him. In his room."

"Well, it is his apartment, Evan. Why are you telling me this? I understand you're not the best at the whole interaction thing but-"

"He wasn't alone," Evan interrupts and he can't quite look at Johnny. Johnny stops talking for a moment. Evan still can't look at him. 

"Who was he with?" Johnny asks carefully, like he sort of knows the answer and maybe someone has warned him about this before. 

"Jeremy, from the show." 

Evan bites his lip and glances at Johnny who's just staring down into his cup, kind of sadly. 

"Were they playing cards?" He jokes weakly, and Evan shrugs. 

"He's not good enough for you anyway," Evan mumbles into his coffee cup and Johnny squeezes his eyes shut.

\--

Johnny spends a lot of time with Evan after he and Drew break up. 

Of course, 'break up' is a nice way of putting it. It's more like they fought until they were both bleeding and limping and then finally a bystander took pity and separated them. It doesn't matter, though, because Johnny doesn't give a fuck about Drew Meekins and who he's making out with or anything. 

Evan lets him hang around, lets him sleep in his bed when he's lonely or call him at one in the morning to complain or cry (most of the time both) because okay, he totally loves Johnny but it's weird because he can't tell him because then he'd just be Johnny's rebound and he certainly doesn't want that. 

So, Evan just lets things happen as they go, holding Johnny when he needs it or bitching with him or just laying with his head on his stomach until he gets over Drew. 

"I love you," Evan says one day to Johnny while they're laying on his bed, Evan's face pressed into the back of Johnny's neck. Johnny doesn't respond, and Evan figures he's asleep. That's fine. 

\--

A few weeks after that they're about to go home for Christmas break (Johnny's decided to stay with Evan for a little bit), and they're loading things into Evan's silver Buick that he went to retrieve last weekend for the drive down there and Johnny pauses for a minute, looking at Evan while he shoves a suitcase into the trunk. 

"Why the fuck do you need so many clothes?" Evan asks, obviously frustrated. "I haven't even started on my stuff. This is ridiculous."

"I love you," Johnny responds.

"What?"

"I love you." Evan stares at Johnny for a few moments, and then looks back to the trunk. 

"Just go get the rest of your clothes, Weir," he says, slamming it down and starting to put his own bags in the back seat. Johnny follows him, though, catching his arm, pulling him close. 

"I love you," he says slowly, looking directly into Evan's eyes. He leans up tentatively, pressing a soft kiss to Evan's mouth. When he pulls back, Evan's lips follows his, kissing him again. 

"I'm still mad about the clothes," Evan mumbles, and Johnny laughs against his mouth.

\--

They manage to keep their hands off each other for the ride to Evan's and they're both balls of nervous energy when they arrive. Evan's mother watches confusedly as Evan hauls all of the suitcases up to his room without protest and gives all of them hugs while Johnny watches, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"Are you alright, Johnny?"

"Oh I'm great!" He answers, grinning widely. "Just really happy to be here." 

They all eat dinner and catch up and Johnny tells them about the fashion show and how Evan's runway face is super ridiculous and overly serious. He knows they don't really understand the whole modeling thing, but it's good money and they've already sent both of his sisters to college. They're not made of gold, so they appreciate that Evan is helping out in any way he can. Even if that means his face is everywhere. 

"It's like he's trying to solve world hunger or something, he just looks so _focused_ ," and then he imitates it and Evan pouts next to him while everyone laughs and Johnny catches himself leaning over to kiss his cheek. He lets his hand brush his arm instead, because he doesn't want a big Lysacek family freak out to deal with. Evan looks over at him, though, and smiles quickly before looking back.

"Well, boys, I think I'm going to bed," Evan's father says, standing slowly, reaching a hand out for Tanya, who smiles and takes it. They head upstairs and Laura follows a little while after and it's just Evan and Johnny, sitting on the couch, barely touching. 

"Do you ever want that?" Johnny asks suddenly, turning his head to look at Evan. "Like, what your mom and dad have? Where they just love each other and know what the other wants and can live together and raise three kids?" What he's trying to ask is, has Evan ever wanted a wife, a normal, picturesque American family. 

"I'm just happy having someone to love," Evan replies, taking Johnny's hand and Johnny smiles so widely that Evan's sure it must hurt.

\--

They go up to his room, still holding hands when they run into Laura coming out of the bathroom. Johnny's sure Evan's going to tear his hand away, but he doesn't, he just squeezes tighter and Laura looks them both up and down. 

"Well, whatever," she says with a shrug, going into her room and shutting the door. Evan noticeably relaxes and Johnny kisses his shoulder. 

Laura pokes her head out of her door one more time and looks at them. 

"Try to be quiet, okay? I'm tired." 

Johnny smiles into Evan's shoulder and Evan blushes a little in the dark and pushes Johnny into his room.

\--

"You know, I expected a way bigger reaction than that," Johnny says while watching Evan undress and pull in pajamas. He walks up behind him before he can put on a shirt, fitting himself to Evan's back and pressing his face to the back of his neck and wrapping his arms around. He can feel Evan shiver, and he smiles against the skin of his shoulder, kissing lightly. 

"It's not like she saw us making out or I don't know, having sex or something. We were holding hands. I feel like that's a pretty chill way to find out your brother's gay. Also let go so I can put on a shirt."

"Did you just use the word 'chill' in referring to something other than the weather or your health? And no," he protests, squeezing Evan tighter. "I like you like this."

"But I'm cold," Evan whines as goosebumps rise on his arms. Johnny chuckles lowly, nipping in between Evan's shoulder blades. 

"I'll keep you warm," Johnny whispers, his hand sliding down Evan's chest to his stomach, and Johnny can feel the muscles tensing and he's sure Evan's eyes are squeezed shut like he's trying not to let this happen. Johnny leans up on his tiptoes to brush his lips against Evan's ear. 

"I promise," he mutters, pressing his face into Evan's back. 

\--

They finally make it into the bed and Evan rolls onto his side, looking at Johnny as he settles in. He puts a hand on his waist and pulls him close, moving the hand to Johnny's cheek, pressing their foreheads together. 

"I'm going to kiss you now," he says and Johnny nods and Evan's already there. 

It's soft at first, like they're not quite sure what they're doing and they're seventeen again and it's prom night and Johnny's a little drunk. Except neither of them are drunk and Evan remembers this, remembers that they both want it and there won't be a fight in the morning like last time. He remembers that it's different now, a good different, and it makes him kiss harder, more intently and Johnny goes along with it, opening his mouth as Evan's tongue slides over his lips. Evan shifts closer and Johnny's arm goes around his neck, pulling him as their kiss deepens. 

Johnny's hand makes its way into Evan's hair, stroking through it, messing it up before tugging suddenly and Evan makes a broken sort of noise. Johnny grins as Evan's hands sneak under his shirt and he arches into them, making a pleased sort of noise as they move his shirt up and Evan kisses down his neck. They break apart to pull the shirt away and Evan tosses it somewhere, anywhere than where it was, and he kisses along Johnny's collarbone, leaving a mark just under it. 

"Your family's going to see that," Johnny mumbles as Evan shifts again, working himself in between Johnny's legs, which respond by wrapping around Evan's waist as their hips roll together and Evan makes another little noise.

"Am I supposed to care?" he counters, holding Johnny's hips as he grinds forward again, and Johnny's mouth falls open helplessly before he can answer. Evan splays his hand against the other man's hipbone, thumb running over his pajama pants and then sliding under the waistband to stroke teasingly, just above the patch of hair. 

" _Evan,_ " Johnny gasps, jerking, because the touch is gentle and Johnny wants more. 

"Yeah?" Evan replies, still stroking and as Johnny opens his mouth to answer, Evan rolls their hips together again and Johnny moans, loud. 

"Yeah," Johnny finally manages, legs tightening around Evan's waist, pulling him closer and closer, hips moving against Evan's, trying to get him to do anything more than what he is. Evan seems to be satisfied with that answer, though, so he's rolling his hips again, harder this time against Johnny's, leaning over to kiss him, biting down on his lip. Evan can feel how hard Johnny is through the thin pajama pants, how bad he wants it and Evan's sure Johnny can feel that he needs exactly the same thing. 

And then Johnny's hands are tugging Evan's pants and underwear down before he can even think about it, and his own hands go to Johnny's, doing the same and they line up just right and stay like that for a moment, relishing. 

Johnny's stomach is trembling under Evan's hand and he keeps arching his back and making sort of gasping noises like he can't quite catch his breath and Evan slides against him, slow and slick and Johnny sucks in a deep breath. His hands reach around to Evan's ass, pulling his hips forward for that contact again, shuddering a little when he gets it. Evan takes over then, thrusting against Johnny quickly, leaning down to kiss at his neck, but that's not where Johnny wants his mouth. 

He cups Evan's cheek, tilting his head to kiss him as they move together on Evan's bed and randomly he's really glad that Evan doesn't have a headboard or a squeaky bed. He doesn't have much time to think about it, though, because Evan's just scraped his teeth over his nipple and Johnny comes with a cry that he forgets to muffle, too caught up. Evan follows him silently, his face screwed up and tries his best not to collapse on the smaller man. It sort of works. 

\--

"I need a tissue," Johnny mumbles sometime later, half-asleep and Evan snorts in response. 

"Dresser," he says, and Johnny gets up to grab some. He comes back and cleans himself off and pulls the covers down so he can do the same to Evan. Evan catches his hand, kissing along the knuckles before tugging Johnny close so they can fall asleep and wake up tangled together.

\--

Johnny wakes first, shivering because Evan's stolen all the covers in the middle of the night. He groans a little, tugging on them and snuggling closer, kissing Evan's throat as he does so. Evan stirs a little, making a small noise, and Johnny has what he thinks is a brilliant idea. 

He kisses Evan's throat again before moving down over Evan's body under the covers, his hands brushing Evan's thighs, which spread easily for him. Johnny grins as Evan's stomach muscles clench under his teasing breath and Evan makes another noise, still mostly asleep.

"Johnny," he mumbles, trying to move the covers. "What are you-" but he cuts himself off with a gasp as Johnny's mouth moves over him, enveloping him in warm, wet heat. Evan makes a little noise as he feels Johnny's hands on his hips, smoothing over the skin, his thumbs pressing in hard enough to bruise. Evan's hand snakes down to tangle in Johnny's hair as he begins to bob his head, swirling his tongue around the head and along the underside. His hand slides to cup Evan's balls, massaging gently as Evan fights to keep his hips from jerking into Johnny's mouth. Johnny pulls off though, catching his breath while his hand still works him, thumbnail pressing into the slit and making Evan groan. He starts again, sucking and pulling and letting Evan thrust until he comes with a gasp, his back arching off the mattress. Johnny pulls Evan's pants and underwear back up, moving to curl next to him, smiling lazily. 

"How long have you had that tattoo?" he asks, because he didn't see it last night, but then again, they had been preoccupied. 

"Got it when I turned 18," Evan mumbles, his hand finding Johnny's hair and running through it. 

"What is it with you and lightning bolts?" Johnny asks, but Evan's already asleep again. 

\--

He wakes two hours later when Johnny walks out of the bathroom, hair wet and towel around his waist. The mark that Evan left under his collarbone is deep purple, too dark to cover up with make-up, so Johnny will have to wear a high shirt or a scarf or something. Evan watches him sleepily, gazing at him from the bed. He drops the towel and Evan wolf whistles at him, making Johnny jump.

"Jerk! I didn't know you were awake," he says, a little embarrassed. He pulls on some underwear and Evan reaches a hand out to him. Johnny climbs back on the bed, sitting next to Evan, leaning down so he can kiss him. 

"I love you," Evan mumbles, and the words still feel weird on his lips, but he knows they're true and Johnny should know too. 

"I know," Johnny whispers back, smiling, kissing Evan's nose. "I guess I love you too." 

\--

Patti comes to get Johnny two days later, because it turns out he really didn't move that far away. She stays for awhile, chatting with Mrs. Lysacek until they really do have to go. Evan stands on the porch with Johnny, his mom in the car and Evan's in the kitchen. 

Johnny's telling him something, pressing a small package into his hands, whispering, "Not 'til Christmas" and Evan grabs him before he can get too far away, pulling him back to kiss him. They break apart, breathless, and Johnny chuckles, turning around to walk to his mom's car. Evan's hand curls around Johnny's present and he pockets it. 

He turns around to see his mom staring at him, and frankly, he's a little surprised Laura hasn't told her.

"What?" he asks, scratching the back of his neck. 

Mrs. Lysacek just shrugs, and then mumbles, "As long as you're careful." 

\--

Evan opens his present from Johnny alone in his room on Christmas day, peeling the paper away from a box that contains a necklace with a silver pendant with roman numerals etched into it. It hangs on a leather cord, and he thinks it must have cost a fortune, or that Johnny used his grace and charm to get it from a street vendor for cheap.

Evan stares down at it, running his thumb over the etchings before putting it on and tucking it under his t-shirt.

\--

Evan picks Johnny up from his house when they both need to go back. He walks up to the door and knocks, smiling awkwardly at the boy who answers. It must be Johnny's brother, he thinks, but he can't remember if they've actually met.

"Hey," Evan says, lifting a hand in greeting. "Is Johnny ready yet?"

Boz doesn't answer. He just walks away from the door, leaving it open, and Evan steps into the house hesitantly as Johnny walks down the stairs. He spots Evan and grins widely, jumping down the last few stairs to hug him. Evan just holds him there, probably a little longer than necessary. 

"I missed you," Johnny says into his chest, and Evan kisses his head in reply. 

\--

They get all of the stuff in the car, which is really a feat, since Johnny's gotten a whole suitcase full of new clothes with his holiday money, but it's all in there and everything's fine. He nearly stomps on his present as he gets in the car, and he picks it up, examining the shiny pink bag. 

"What's this, babe?" he asks, and Evan glances at him before looking back at the road to get on the highway. 

"Present," he answers, and Johnny's already tearing into the paper before Evan can say, "Sorry it's late." 

Johnny pulls out a long silver chain with an antique locket on the end. He looks it over for a moment before prying it open to see what's inside and it's a tiny, tiny version of the photo of him and Evan, where they're sitting on the floor and laughing and Johnny can only smile softly at it. 

"I didn't uh- I didn't know," Evan stutters, breaking the silence, "I didn't know if it was bad luck or anything, to do that, you know? Like, wear a picture of us or whatever. So you can take it out if you want. I just- thought it might be nice." 

"I love it," Johnny replies, closing it and putting the chain over his head. "It's beautiful." 

Evan smiles at the road.

\--

The next semester Evan moves out of his dorm and into an apartment with a fellow model, Jeff. The apartment is small, of course, but they can afford it and it's clean, for the most part and it's in a good location since they both attend NYU. Johnny visits all the time, but that may be because Jeff literally looks like a fairytale prince, and maybe it makes him a little nervous. 

Johnny knocks on their door one afternoon, a small box of Evan's things that he'll need that he's left at Johnny's in his hands, and Jeff, too lazy to answer the door, calls, "Come in!"

So, Johnny does, and of course Jeff, the fairytale prince, is laying on the couch in just some white boxers. Johnny nearly drops the box. 

"Uh," Johnny stutters, and Jeff looks over at him and smiles widely.

"Oh hey Johnny! Evan's in his room. He'll be super happy to see you, he's been working on this project for like, three days straight and it's really running him down." Johnny can only nod and smile weakly in response.

\--

"You know your roommate is just lounging on the couch more than half-naked, right?" Johnny says as he enters Evan's room, setting the box down on the bed. 

"Huh?" Evan says, scribbling over something, trying to find the right side of his architect's scale. "Oh, yeah, he does that all the time. He doesn't like clothes, says he can't breathe in them." 

"Hasn't he ever heard of cotton?" Johnny mutters, walking up behind Evan to wrap his arms around him, chin on the other man's head. Evan leans into the touch, relaxing a little. Johnny's hand slides down his chest and he sighs. 

"I liked it better when your roommate had greasy hair and played video games all the time."

"Yeah, but Ben gave great head," Evan quips, picking up his pencil again and Johnny scoffs. 

"Rude," he sniffs and Evan laughs, turning in the chair to scoop Johnny onto his lap. 

"Shut up, you know I'm kidding," Evan says, hand going to Johnny's cheek. 

"Do I?" Johnny asks, because he doesn't really think Evan would hurt him like that, like Drew did, but he just has to be sure. 

"Oh please," Evan scoffs, rolling his eyes. "you know I'm only a sucker for you mouth." And then he winks obscenely and Johnny laughs despite himself. 

"You're so ridiculous," he says fondly, leaning forward to kiss him. 

"I try," Evan replies, his hand cupping Johnny's cheek again and his thumb runs over his cheekbone before pulling him close to kiss him again. Johnny sighs into it, and they continue like that for a little while, a gentle pull and push of mouths until Johnny's breaks away to kiss down Evan's neck, marking him. Evan makes a little noise in the back of his throat and tilts so Johnny has more room. 

When Jeff knocks on the door about twenty minutes later, Johnny's hands are up Evan's shirt and Evan's hand is so far down the back of Johnny's pants that he's not even really grabbing ass so much as thigh. Evan manages to at least extract his hand before Jeff comes in, carrying a plate of sandwiches. 

"I made you guys something to eat," he says, smiling at them, pretending not to notice how flushed they both are and how Johnny is still on top of Evan, hands still on his hips. Jeff puts the plate down next to the box on the bed and walks back to the door. 

"Enjoy," he says with a wink, shutting them back in and Johnny just stares.

"Doesn't he know it's dangerous to cook without a shirt on?" Johnny deadpans, and Evan snorts. 

\--

"Have you ever had sex?" Johnny asks while they're eating the sandwiches on Evan's bed, and he's leaning against the wall, examining his sandwich. It's okay for him to ask, he tells himself. They didn't speak for almost two years and that's a lot of time to miss of someone's life. 

"Yeah," Evan shrugs in reply, "sure. With girls." 

"But never with a boy," Johnny clarifies, picking out an olive. Why there's an olive in the sandwich, he has no idea. 

"Right," Evan confirms, taking a bite. They sit in silence for a moment before Evan asks, "Have you?" He figures he can ask too, since they're dating and it's bound to come up sometime, right? Johnny shakes his head in reply and Evan stares at his bread. 

"Oh." 

\--

"Why haven't you?" Evan asks while they're, for a lack of a better word, snuggling on his bed, and he can feel Johnny shrug against him. 

"I was going to, with Drew, but he didn't- well, we know how that turned out," he answers, trying not to sound as bitter as he feels. "I just wanted to wait, you know? Until I was in love." 

"Yeah," Evan replies and that's all they say about it.

\--

They don't see each other much after that, because it's mid-terms and they're both really busy with projects and shows and they barely sleep, let alone speak to each other. 

Which is why maybe it's a bad idea for Johnny to be surprising Evan at the apartment. Evan's probably super busy and working on something and he shouldn't just barge in here. He knocks on the door anyway, and hears his boyfriend yell a strangled, "Come in!" So, Johnny does and it turns into a Weird Moment. 

Once the door opens, all he sees is Evan standing in the living room, arms up in a weird way because Jeff is behind him, doing _something_ and Evan's eyes and squeezed shut and he lets out a "Oh my god, _Jeff,_ " and Johnny's mouth drops open. Jeff looks over Evan's shoulder at who is at the door, and smiles at Johnny. 

"Hey Johnny!" He says, right as he does something to Evan and Evan's eyes snap open as his back pops like he's been needing it to for weeks and he whimpers and slumps over as Jeff lets him go. 

All Johnny can think is, _well, at least they're both clothed._

"I'll come back later," he says, smiling wide and fake, murder in his eyes before he turns to strut out the door. 

"No, hey!" Evan protests, walking out the door and into the hall, chasing after him. "What are you doing? Johnny, what's wrong? Hey. Talk to me," he says, catching Johnny's arm. 

"About what," Johnny spits at him, wrenching his arm free and Evan's eyes widen. "About how you say you love me but you live with some other fucking beautiful man and probably do unspeakable things with him while I'm gone and let him touch you and see you naked and make me an idiot for doing this and loving you like this?" His eyes had started welling up with tears that now make their way down his cheeks and Evan knows this isn't about him, but it still hurts. 

"Stop it," he says, grabbing Johnny's wrist, pulling him close, because they're still best friends and this is what Johnny needs and Evan knows that. He wraps his arms around the other man as he sobs into his chest and Evan just kisses his hair, his forehead, his cheeks, mumbling, "You know I wouldn't do that to you. I'd never do that. I'd never hurt you." Johnny just holds on to him tightly, crying because he's so stupid and Evan is so good to him and he doesn't deserve this. 

They slide down the wall and sit in the hallway as Johnny calms down, pressing his face into Evan's neck. He can feel the cord of the necklace he bought him pressing into his chin and he smiles, and Evan sighs, relieved. 

"Do you want to go into the apartment now?" he asks, and Johnny nods.

\--

Later, when Jeff and Evan and Johnny are all watching a movie in the living room, there's a knock. 

"Come in!" Jeff says, and Johnny asks, "Do you ever lock your door?" Evan just laughs and leans down to kiss him as a cute, youngish boy walks in. He's got curly blonde hair and a giant smile just like Jeff does, and Jeff nearly leaps off the couch to tackle him in a hug and a kiss. 

"Who's that?" Johnny whispers, and Evan furrows his brow at him.

"Adam," he replies. "Jeff's boyfriend."

Johnny feels like a total tool. 

\--

School ends and it's summertime, and Johnny goes back to his house but Evan stays in his apartment with Jeff, and Johnny can't really visit much because he has to help his mom and he still doesn't have a car and Evan's too busy to come and get him or anything, which is fine. But it's been awhile and Johnny would maybe like to hear Evan's voice, so he calls him around eight one night, praying he's not already asleep.

"Hello?" Evan answers, a little groggily, and Johnny feels bad.

"Hey," he says softly, "I'm sorry- I just wanted- I wanted to hear your voice." 

"It's fine," Evan replies, shifting around in the bed, Johnny assumes, since he can hear rustling. "I miss you."

Johnny smiles into the phone. "How's New York?"

"A lot calmer without you."

"Really?"

"No, but that's what I tell myself when I stay at home instead of going out. You know who also stays at home instead of going out?"

"Who?"

"Adam and Jeff. You know what they do for hours and hours every night?" 

Johnny's brow furrows. "No, Evan, I don't. What do they-"

"They fuck. Loudly. Apparently, you aren't the only one who thinks Jeff is a prince. Just saying." 

Johnny has to try so hard not to laugh. It kind of works, and he ends up giggling obscenely, pulling the phone away from his mouth. 

"Oh, honey, I'm sorry," he says once he's calmed down enough. "Do you get any sleep?"

"Sometimes, but most of the time I'm too ah- agitated to do anything." 

"Agitated?" Johnny asks, and he can just see the pink flushing Evan's cheeks. 

"Well, you know. I have a very active imagination." 

"Oh yeah? Give me an example," Johnny says, licking his lips. 

"I used to have dreams about you," Evan says suddenly, and Johnny isn't expecting it. He mouths dumbly into the phone, not actually saying anything. "When we were younger. After you kissed me when I took you home from the mall? I had dreams for weeks." 

It takes Johnny a moment to realize he needs to actually reply. 

"Oh," is all he can manage and Evan bites his lip all the way in New York. 

"Yeah," Evan continues, hand sliding down his own stomach and pressing against his crotch. He's just so wound up after listening to Adam and Jeff for weeks and weeks and this is as close as he's going to get Johnny for awhile at least and he just needs something. He breathes out a little harshly as he moves his hand and Johnny catches it.

"Are we having phone sex?" he asks, and Evan can't help but laugh.

"Please," he replies, fumbling with the tie on his pants. 

"Tell me about your dreams first," Johnny says, surprisingly dominant. "Then you can touch yourself." For some reason, Evan obeys. 

Except, he doesn't really know what to say because he's never been very articulate and he wishes Johnny was the one talking and not him because he's going to make a fool of himself. 

"Evan?" Johnny asks, "You still there?" 

"There was one in the pool," he starts, trying to remember the details. "My pool, I mean, and we were kissing in the water and your legs were wrapped around my waist and I could hold you because it was a dream and we were in water and you were just weightless and all I could feel were your lips on mine and our wet skin sliding together. I woke up from that one harder than anything. I had to take an extra long shower." 

"Good," Johnny replies, breath hitching and Evan bites his lip because he can just imagine him, flushed and his eyes closed and maybe his back arching. "You know what I'd do if you were here?" he breathes, a small noise at the end of it. 

"What?" Evan asks, his hand resting on his stomach, because even this touch is better than nothing, even though nothing is ever as good as Johnny's hand. 

Johnny groans a little before he answers, and Evan's hand slides a little lower. "I'd let you touch me, finger me, fill me up like I know you want to."

"Johnny," Evan says, because this isn't fair.

"Yeah, go ahead, touch yourself but it won't be as good, you know that. I know what you want, I see it in your eyes every time we make out, every time I pull away and use my hand or my mouth instead. I can feel it radiate from your skin, Evan. I know what you want." 

Evan's hand has finally found its way around his length, squeezing around the base so he doesn't come too quickly. 

"I want you to finger yourself," Johnny says, and Evan's eyes snap open because he's never done that before, and that's- that's just- well. "Can you do that for me, Evan?" 

"Yeah," he says, shifting to look through his drawer and pulling out the bottle of lube he bought a long time ago, just in case. He likes to be prepared. He squeezes some out on his fingers, warming it up before touching himself or anything. "Tell me what to do," he whispers. 

"Don't just, shove it in there," Johnny says, "be careful. Go slow, remember to breathe. Just kind of run your finger over the hole, maybe pressing in a little bit. Don't get overeager." 

"Okay," Evan breathes back, doing as Johnny has instructed, running his finger over the entrance lightly at first and then pressing down a little. Johnny mumbles instructions to him until his finger is pressing in and Evan's hissing at the intrusion. It doesn't hurt, though, it's just weird and Johnny tells him to curl it and he does and his hips jerk suddenly and he moans. 

"Yeah," Johnny says, "That was good, wasn't it? You want more of that. Keep moving your finger, okay? Slow and steady and add another," He smiles as Evan moans with the stretch and he moves his hand a little faster, squeezing tighter. 

Evan moves his fingers in and out slowly, pressing against that spot as he does so his back arches off the mattress as he pushes in. He puts his phone on speaker and lays it to the side so he can add another finger, moaning even louder this time. Johnny groans in reply, keening and coming before he can realize it and Evan grabs his own length, stroking with each push of his fingers, thumbing the tip and pressing his thumbnail into the slit. 

"Evan," Johnny says on a moan, and Evan just gasps in reply, because it's all he can manage. "Evan, this is what you're going to do to me, okay? The next time I see you. This is what I want. I want you inside of me, making me moan like you're doing. Come on, Evan. Do it." And Evan does, shuddering as he comes, and laying breathless before he can work his fingers out of himself without any pain. 

"Johnny?" he says after a few minutes of silence. 

"Yeah?"

"I miss you." 

"I know. I miss you too." They both fall asleep with their phones still on, and Evan's glad he has unlimited minutes. 

\--

Evan and Jeff sit at breakfast the next day, and Evan keeps shifting a little uncomfortably in his seat and Jeff keeps giving him weird looks. 

"Are you okay?" He asks finally, his eyebrow almost rising off his forehead. 

"Yeah I just-" Evan pauses. Can he talk about this with Jeff? He doesn't really have anyone else he feels comfortable with that would be able to tell him anything or whatever and he just- he wants to know what to do. When he sees Johnny again. 

"Johnny and I had phone sex last night," he says bluntly, forever ungraceful. Jeff's eyes widen like he'd never hear something like that come out of Evan's mouth and he coughs a little.

"Well, okay," he says, biting his lip. "How..was it?"

Evan realizes this was probably a bad idea. He can see Jeff feels awkward and he feels awkward and oh man this is just weird. But he can't stop now. He's already started.

"It was good," Evan answers, and Jeff nods. "I mean, like, I don't know, I've never had phone sex before but it was...sufficient?" Evan shrugs. 

They sit in silence for a little while and Jeff looks like he's struggling to ask him something but doesn't really know how.

"What did- Why are you-" Jeff pauses, taking a deep breath. "Why do you keep shifting around like that?" 

"Oh," Evan answers, staring into his yogurt. "I uh- Johnny told me to uh- use my fingers? So I did." 

"I never took you for a bottom, Evan," Jeff says seriously surprised, and Evan shrugs.

"He said that it was what he wanted me to do to him. Like, the next time we see each other. Or whatever. Yeah." 

It goes silent again as they both eat and look anywhere but each other.

"I just don't want to hurt him," Evan says finally, eyes shut like it's easier to say it when he can't see who he's talking to. "I mean, he's never done that before and I don't- I mean don't talk to him about it because I'm sure he'd kill me for saying it and I don't know. I just am really afraid I'm going to hurt him." When he opens his eyes and finally looks at the other man, Jeff's looking at him like he's the cutest thing in the universe.

"Evan, you love him, right?" Jeff asks and Evan nods. "Then it'll be fine if you just go slow and be careful and don't give him more than what he asks for, okay? You'll be totally fine. It'll be great. And you know, do research and stuff on the internet so you're not as nervous." 

Evan nods again, "Yeah, the internet, right." He smiles, a little relieved. "Thanks, Jeff." 

"What are friends for?" Jeff grins at him.

\--

The first few sites are most decidedly _not_ what Evan is looking for. He doesn't really know how he should phrase his search in google, so some of the sites he gets are ......graphic. And that just freaks him out, so he clicks out really fast and tries something else and gets a website that doesn't make him want to die. 

He ends up spending more than five hours on his computer, searching every sort of thing he can so he won't screw up. Then, he goes to the store to buy supplies because he's always prepared for everything. Always. 

\--

It moves slow when they see each other again. Evan's nervous, and Johnny is a little too because they haven't seen each other in so long and he knows what he said on the phone and it's a little awkward. 

It's okay, though, once Evan cups his cheek at the train station, smiling softly before kissing him. Johnny remembers that Evan is nice and good and not Drew and they're in love and everything will be totally, totally okay.

\--

In less than two hours, Evan has Johnny on his bed, pinned under him, kissing him like it's going out of style and trying to fight his shirt off without breaking apart. He gets it off and kisses down Johnny's neck and collarbone, hand sliding up his side. 

He spends so much time focusing on Johnny's upper body that he doesn't even realize their pants are still on until Johnny shifts his hips under Evan's, rolling them up and gasping Evan's name, and then pants are the last thing Evan wants in the way. So, he sheds them and their hips grind together again and it's so, so much better. 

"Evan, I want you," Johnny pleads, tugging at the waistband of his boxers, trying to work his hand in between them and failing. "Please, I want- You know what I want." 

Evan kisses him again before leaning over to the bedside table and getting out the things he's bought. He squeezes the lube on his fingers generously, warming it before tracing over Johnny's entrance, pressing slightly, watching as Johnny bit his lip, holding back a gasp.

"Don't worry," Evan says, pressing in just barely, his lips brushing Johnny's ear. "I'll be gentle." 

He presses his finger in deeper, softly telling Johnny to relax as he massages slightly with it, smiling as Johnny gasps when his body relaxes and Evan's finger sinks in. He moves it slowly, adding another after a few minutes, and by the time he adds a third finger, there's a sheen of sweat over Johnny's body and his toes are curling and he's moaning sort of desperately and Evan is just really, really hard and sort of grinding down into the mattress to keep himself from going crazy. 

Johnny moans out a plea for Evan to hurry and that he's ready and he wants it and please please please Evan just do it. So, Evan pulls his fingers out and tears open a condom wrapper, putting it on and slicking himself generously again. He positions and he and Johnny make eye contact as he pushes in slowly, trying to be as gentle as possible. He stays still for a few moments, letting Johnny adjust and really just waiting for Johnny to do something because he doesn't want to hurt him. 

" _Move,_ " Johnny chokes out and Evan does, biting down on his own lip to keep himself from coming. 

He moves slow at first, finding it difficult to really thrust smoothly, but he adjusts the angle sort of and Johnny gasps and moans and throws his head back and all of a sudden it's a lot easier for Evan to thrust, so he does that until Johnny's hips are moving with his, urging him faster. 

Evan wraps his hand around Johnny's cock, squeezing tight as he strokes in time with the thrusts and Johnny's coming with Evan's name on his lips before Evan really knows what to do and so he follows a few seconds after, shaking arms holding him up as he pulls out as gently as he can. He collapses next to Johnny, staring at him, watching him for some sort of negative reaction, but Johnny's all smiles and only a little wince when he rolls to face Evan. 

"I love you," he mumbles, pressing close to kiss him.

"I love you too," Evan mumbles back, against his mouth. 

\--

"I hate you," Johnny whines the next day, still on Evan's bed in just his underwear. He can hardly move without groaning, which Evan assumes is sort of maybe Johnny being over dramatic, but then he remembers how he felt just after his own fingers and is very, very sympathetic. 

"You're the one who wouldn't stop begging for it," Evan grins at his floor plan, and then yelps as a pillow smacks him in the head. He turns to look at Johnny, who's glaring at him arms crossed.

"Give me my pillow back," he pouts, and Evan laughs, picking it up and taking it over to him, sitting beside him on the bed and leaning down to kiss him gently. He pulls away slightly, lips lingering near Johnny's, brushing his behemoth nose against the other man's smaller one, smiling down at him. 

Johnny leans up to kiss him again, and Evan thinks, _this is exactly where I'm supposed to be._


End file.
